Anna's moving in next week!

Music is a real sensory thing for me. Certain songs bring out memories in me even if I'm hearing a song long after the event occurred. It's like when you randomly smell something and your brain becomes flooded with different dates and times and memories. Every now and then I'll hear a song that will bring out multiple things from various events over the years. Most recently it's been Young Blood by The Naked and Famous. I've mentioned this song before, but there's just something very Teen Anthem-y about it that makes me remember things.

The youthful wildness about this song and the video that reminds me of Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros work is the perfect driving in your car late at night with the windows down song. The melody and the lyrics remind me of so many things:

• Riding my bike over to Conshohocken Ave at 2am and going through the park even though there aren't any street lights and being scared of hitting a pothole, but at the same time excited to be doing something that would worry my mother.

• Searching for Willings Alley in the city on the night of Black and White with Marg because we couldn't get tickets and then taking the last 38 back to the CP.

• Being told "if I actually wanted to date someone I'd probably be dating you," 

• Hiking up the side of a mountain through a stream because it was too hot to stay on the trail. 

• The time Marg tried to cheer me up when I was on crutches and she stole a clay head and we named it after one of our philosophy professors. *A hint: He lives on Athens Ave. 

• Smoking cloves outside during the blizzard with Marg and wearing Karrie's Christmas blankets instead of coats to keep warm and then getting locked out of the house. 

• Studying for physics finals in lab at all hours of the night and then going on a cupcake hunt on the chemistry floor. 

Thank My Hebrew Friend for pushing me to write and not letting me fall of the blogsphere like I try to. 

If you're a bird, Im a bird.

As much as I write for myself to see my thoughts and ideas on print, I am also writing to an audience and sometimes I am a selfish writer. I've been avoiding writing on here for the past few days. I haven't been read the blogs I follow or following up on blogger emails. I've put this thing I do in a state of suspended animation. It's selfish because I have readers who follow this blog and depend on me to write for them. As much as writing is an escape for me, reading this blog is a distraction from life for them. And so I have to try not to be so selfish.

It's been a very stressful time for me lately. I'm in the process of wrapping up the semester and preparing for the finals I have to take next week. There's something different about the finals in the spring than the ones in the winter. In the winter it's just a race to winter break and Christmas presents, but in the spring it's life or death. Spring finals mean the last chance to end the year on a good note and to try to raise your gpa. For the lucky few it's graduation and the end of school. There's just more pressure and importance with spring finals. This means that I have been up and down. My emotions and self-control are out of control. I've either been extremely high or very low. There has been no middle ground for me. It might be the weather or the PMS but everything is just very sad and terrible or completely wonderful. I have a whole chocolate bunny tonight and cried during every movie I watched, mind you they have all been tragic romances with no happy endings. Just earlier today though I was running through the rain with some friends, excited about the summer showers and the last theology class. I just feel like I'm on a precipice staring down at something terrible and as I complete each final assignment the gap becomes smaller but when I go to sleep and wake up the next day the gap is just as wide as when I started.

I'm so close and tomorrow afternoon I will be finished for the week. I have to breathe deep and keep on going until then. 

I want to dye my hair "Emma Stone Red"

So I was going to write last nigh but when I got on I saw that Yonni had posted and I got all caught up in his writing and then I got distracted by something else and then something else and long story short I now have a very clean kitchen. So anyways...

Yesterday was Easter and I ha to work. I missed out on stuffed olives and I'm bummed because if I had been able to go into work at my usual time I would have been able to get some. But instead I had to go into work at noon and have a very Alice in Wonderland early afternoon. For the first three hours I was at work there was a full floor of staff and only three tables so everyone started to go a little nutty. It started off with little things like the staff just lounging around the kitchen table after all the side work got done and it spread to people hanging out at the bar watching the games and throwing jelly beans at each other across the dining room. The managers also joined us in our lethargy and even helped us with some of our escapades. The best part of the day was when one of the hosts went over to the grocery store and bought a large lawn decoration: a bunny on a stick and attached a sign with the name of the restaurant and went outside to wave it at cars. There's a video of it floating around somewhere, so funny.

Today I went out to Lancaster to see some family. I probably should have stayed to do some homework but I wanted to get out of the city before this coming week and finals start. I just have to make it to Thursday morning and then I'll be fine. Anyways, the drive out to the country is always pretty. The farms are picturesque and all the fruit trees are in bloom right now. I stopped at my grandfather's first and had lunch with him at Silver Springs. We always go there, but I don't mind because they make the best coconut cream pie and that's the only place I will eat coconut cream pie so I always like going there. After lunch we ran some errands and went out to Lititz to the Wilbur factory. Seriously Wilbur make much better chocolate than Hershey. I got a bag of dark and milk Wilbur Buds. I'm going to give a few of the dark ones to Yonni. Yonni eat them and drink a glass of red wine. You'll feel much better. Later in the afternoon we went over to my aunt's house and had dinner with her and Uncle Dave. Uncle Dave likes me because I'm quiet unlike the rest of his family. I also found out Danelle is getting her master's at West Chester. Totally unaware of everyone else. I went home after that. Only took me an hour on the Turnpike. I have to make more trips out there when I get a chance.

On sad note I didn't see any Amish in Amish Country until late in the afternoon when I was in Akron. I did see a super hottie Mennonite on my way home. Totally wanted to pretend to break down so he could help me. I also think I'm started to PMS because I ate half a pound of chocolate in one sitting and bought some new makeup today. No bueno and now I need Dione to teach me how to put it on right.

I wanted to write about something else but I think I'll save it for tomorrow. Instead I'll say that My Hebrew Friend bought the Hank book and he's going to let me read when he's done. So excited and totally love the fact that one of my friend's actually likes most of the same crazy shit as me. Janet I need to find you a Mystery Team birthday card, so perfect!

"It was an accident of timing."

I had a little fun with the below post, but I know someone's going to want me to take it down tomorrow so read it while it's still there.

Tonight was a terrible night at work. I walked out of there with $10 after spending most of my shift as other people's busers and working a 44 top. Total balls.

Good news though my Easter basket came today. I've been waiting for something cheery and it's finally here. I drove for the mini Cadbury chocolate eggs immediately but with the dietary changes I've been making I could only eat two or three before my stomach started to hurt and I had to put the bag down. I've also gotten around to watching The Romantics. Great casting, excellent story. I've just started worrying that I'm either going to be a Lila, getting my wedding ruined or a Laura, ruining the wedding because I can't let go of the groom. Of course the groom won't have to be Josh Duhamel, but he should be as equally fit and versed as his character Tom. And if I get left outside on the lawn after a night of adulterous sex I will murder someone. But that's years away. 

Maybe too many words for a newspaper ad.

Attention Single Lady Readers (You Know Who You Are):

I have a beautiful friend looking for love. He is tall, dark, and handsome (due to his Israeli heritage) and he is also Jewish. He values his family and friends. He is health conscious and physically active and looking for someone who also values physical fitness and long, strong, healthy lifestyles. He does not smoke ciggs or drink excessively, though he does enjoy his hookah occasionally (again he is Israeli). He loves warm weather, boats, being honest. He is a ball of energy (much like a small child) and is well read, well-movied,  and very educated. He is ten seconds away from being an English teacher and spends spare time reading and writing. He loves Hemingway and Rowling. So if you're interested in these things to please find your way to him, he's waiting.

NOTE: Jewish American Princesses and bitchy girls need not apply. 

101

So I realized that last time was my one hundredth post and it was not one hundredth post worthy so hopefully this will be a little bit better.

The dumpy week has turned around. I feel much better and as long as I power through tonight at work I will be able to sleep all day tomorrow if I so choose. I forgot about having Friday off so today is my Friday, but then I realized that almost all of my friends are going home for the holiday and I am not. Of course a couple of them live in the area so they're not far away. I thought about going out tonight after work but I don't even think that I will be able to make it to 9pm. I'm hoping I have an early rush and get cut shortly after because right now I'm thinking that all I want to do is just go home and watch movies. I recently upgraded my Netflix account to get DVDs and my first one comes today. I think it's The Romantics which I'm happy about and I would much rather hang out at home and watch that then wander around Manayunk until all hours (unless I go to the custard drive-thru). I may even stop by The Noodle and pick something up if I remember on my way home tonight.

I had an excellent run yesterday morning. Pete said that our route was longer than it really was, but since we didn't actually run all the way around City Hall it was only a little over two miles, which is still good for me at 5:30am. I have one more official week before Service ends and then I'm not sure if I will be able to go as much in the summer. It all depends what my schedule is going to be like in the office. As persuaded to me by Yonni I've stopped weighing myself everyday. I can't just do it every week I have to do it every other day now. I can't wait a week, it's too much for me. I'm also not running today. I usually save Friday as my recovery day, but I don't have a lot of time today. I got home late last night and crashed until right before it was time for school. I didn't even take off my socks. I love socks, hate wearing them when I sleep.

Last night I had an excellent workshop with Yonni. He's been really great about the critical feedback of my work, telling what works and what doesn't. Last night he went over my one act and my poetry collection. The one act was presented in class to positive reviews yesterday, but I am able to polish it up before it goes in the portfolio. I also had positive feedback from my professor about my poetry collection. Yonni appreciated the Borders collection and helped me tweak it a bit. If I get an A in this class it's because Yonni pushed me and my writing to make it better.So if I get published first I promise to hook you up with your own editor and if you get published first you have to hook me up with own of your awesome vacation homes. Preferably somewhere with a boat and a beach.

The post below this one was terrible.

Don't read it. Click on the link instead: Click Me!

The d key on my keyboard is sticking.

I didn't really want to write anything today. I started this post maybe a dozen times letting myself get distracted by something so that I wouldn't have to write. I don't know I just feel so lackluster about everything that's been happening that I couldn't get a start to writing. And I feel like I'm only doing it now so I don't get another message tomorrow telling me to write something, I shouldn't leave my readers so stranded. Just don't expect a whole lot out of this one.

I went to see the horses this evening. There are more of them again and they look much healthier. The same sweet dog is there. I wish someone would give him a bath because he looks like he's never had one, but he's so sweet and trusting when I see him. Like a young Buck. There's something about the horses that's very calming. I think it's because you have to be calm yourself around the horses for them to be calm. It's been a struggle to stay calm today.

I hate how tone can't be conveyed through a text message. I tried to poke fun at my Hebrew Friend about skipping class but it ended up being an epic fail. BTWs I have some time from noon until my 4pm class tomorrow. I was trying to be funny/ironic when I was talking to you earlier. Another epic texting fail.

I'm watching A Little Princess on Netflix. I love this movie so much. It's such a pretty story and I definitely identified with the little chubby girl when I was younger. Despite the evil Miss Minchin I still really wanted to be sent away to school for the longest time. Didn't happen.

Orville and Redenbacher.

Last was night girls night. It was supposed to be Katie's "I Quit" party, but she cancelled due to rain so instead Kat and I and a couple of Kat's friends went bar hopping in Narberth. It was between there and Manayunk, but we didn't want to trudge uphill in a flood so Narbreth it was. Also Narberth has a laxer dress policy than Manayunk. It's been a while since I've been out with just girls and it was much more fun than that the last time. I forgot how fun girls can be when there are no guys with us, also how ridiculous girls can be. I almost ran over a bunny on my way out. Bunnies are the best. They remind me of the Cadbury bunny and Easter baskets so seeing the bunny made me incredibly happy and then later after I had  beer in me I remembered how happy the bunny made me that I had to tell a bunch of people. I'm sure they all thought I was insane since it was 12:30am when that happened. The first bar we were at was okay. There was a group of guys in their mid-thirties rapping. They knew every single word to every song which would have been incredibly funny if they weren't so ridiculous about it. The guys were also playing their ipod at top volume and we couldn't hear a words anyone said so once we finished our drinks we moved on to the next bar. The next place was better: a little quieter and with more people. The people there were more interesting too. While we were drinking a wedding party showed up and Kat recognized one of the members. She also recognized that person going home with someone that wasn't their spouse. Poor Kat, last night was a night of surprises for her. It took her almost an hour to realize that the prepubescent looking ginger boy was really a girl even after we tried to convince her. That was great, three girls and a guy with a Bieber cut came into the bar and the girls all started groping each other trying to go home with one another. They kept stepping outside and coming back in. We  noticed that one girl kept leading the other two on and eventually the other two caught on and that quickly escalated to a girl fight. The guys in the bar were glued to it. So funny. By the time we left we still couldn't figure out who was with whom but the super flirty girl was now hanging off Bieber and Kat was super confused. So funny.  We ordered food at the bar and I was really glad that I had eaten before I went out because I didn't consume nearly a fraction of the usual amount of bar food that I do. So proud of myself! I also couldn't finish my second drink and by then I was super tired so I left a little later. But before I left I got all nostalgic. Being with a bunch of seniors in denial of graduation will do that to you. I  kept texting Marg about the time she got terrorized on the shuttle by an upperclassmen first night of freshman year. The memory still haunts her. So awesome. I got in a little after 2am. Birds were singing and I wanted to to throw my shoe at them, but I was too tired and I didn't know where to aim. I set my alarm for 1pm. I figured I would take advantage of a nice Sunday sleep in, I woke up at 8:30am and couldn't fall back asleep. Lame.

I've had a strong craving for sushi lately and not the gross supermarket kind. I want to go out and get a couple of rolls with friends but none of my friends like sushi and won't go out with me. Gah! So lame. None of my friends will go see Your Highness or Arthur with me. I'm going to have to load up my Longchamp with foodies and go see them by myself. That's sort of fun. One of my friends is supposedly going shopping at the outlets today. I want him to scope everything out for me and see what there is. Plus I want to see what he gets for himself. He's so stylish, I wish he were a tiny gay man I could keep in my sock drawer and could pull out whenever I needed to put on real clothes. He could tell me what works and what doesn't. That would be fun. 

Fudgy brownies with crispy corner pieces.

I have the biggest craving for chocolaty fudgy brownies right now. The kind that are gooey and warm and are crispy along the corner edges. Soooo good. It's killing me that I don't have any and that I can't eat any because of my new resolution to be healthy. Fuck me! I'm going to go run to take my mind off the cravings after I finish this and then make some lunch. I found chocolate chips in the cupboard and now I have to convince myself that I don't need to bake cookies or make chocolate chip pancakes. It's making me cranky/crazy and if I have another night at work like I did last night I'm going to shoot something or key my arch nemesis' car. Grr. I definitely had a hard time kick starting healthy eating habits and I think that that's been because I've been under my mother's thumb for so long and ha to listen to her preach about how Samantha and I are addicted to carbs and that we were going to become obese American children. I just got tired of it and did what I could to push against her. Now that I'm away from her and speeches it's easier for me to want to be healthy. For example: My mother LOVES almonds and how good they are for you. I developed a hatred for almonds and would not eat them. Now I'm starting to like almonds again now that they aren't always around and the fact that my mother is 400 miles away from me. So as long as she keeps her mouth reasonably quiet about healthy eating this is going to be a successful lifestyle change for me.

Tonight's Katie's "I quit Borders" party. I told her I would go because I love her and I haven't seen her in ages. I don't plan on drinking a) I made a mess of myself the last time I was there and b) I'm still dirt poor and buying beer is low on my spending priorities. We need to start frequenting places where there  is dancing. Dancing is way more fun than sitting around and having the same conversations that we have every weekend plus dancing burns calories. Double score. If I make more than $80 tonight maybe I'll buy a PBR, but probably not because I really really want to go shopping next month.

So I'm really starting to rethink going to Lancaster the Monday after next Monday. I called my aunt and left her a message an haven't heard back from her. Now I realize that there's a good chance that she may not be home, but she never goes anywhere and people should check their messages you never know who could be calling. However if I don't go to Lancaster it saves on having to buy an EZ Pass sooner rather than later when I start day tripping to Seaside and eventually make the haul up north. Still acknowledging that I called would be nice. 

Pathetic in my own dreams.

Last night I dreamt about doing my laundry and texting my Hebrew Friend. Wow what a dream! I should have just stayed awake and done my laundry for all the great sleep I got. I've definitely entered "Last Weeks of School" phase where I developed sleep anxiety and start focusing on my hair. Last year I plucked out all the hair on my shin as a stress mechanism and this year I've been picking out split ends and damaged strands like it's my job. Disgusting and weird, but I figure it's better than stress eating and purging. I only have three more serious weeks, but until then I'm going to be a zombie form trying to get everything done and then worrying myself awake at night.

Last night I purposefully set aside eight glorious sleeping hours for myself. I wanted to be in bed and asleep by ten thirty. Total fail, I got sleepy ended up texting Yonni because I'm a selfish girl and then started to get snoozy. I forgot that I texted Yonni and that my phone was on full volume so when he texted back (he has good phone etiquette) it freaked me out and left me wide awake ad unable to get back to sleep for several hours. When I finally did get to sleep I dreamt that I was doing my laundry and texting Yonni. I don't remember talking about anything exciting however, Yonni did tell me that he found a cache of hot Eastern European women from Yale that like ice cream. Even in my own dreams my life is pathetic.

Last year I remember dreaming about Boyajian and dinosaurs for three weeks. "Last Weeks of School" phase is going to kill me.

Running into a wall at slow speeds

RECOVERY TIME, recovery time, recovery time. It's important for a reason and my body is killing me for not having more than six hours of it last night. I ran around 10:30pm and didn't get back until after 11pm and then had to go back out at 5am for BOMF. I got a little more than a mile before my body nearly quit on me and I had to turn around. Not my best run, but  with the new guys who are learning how to run I wasn't the worst one there this morning. But now that I've been sitting in class all day my body has decided that it doesn't want to move anymore and now I'm stuck in a chair at work. Literally stuck. I'm going to have to take a bath or sit on the radiator to get my muscles relaxed again. Since I ran already I don't have to go back out until tomorrow afternoon and even then I'll stick to Merion so I don't have to run super hills. I'll save that one for Saturday morning.

It's good that I'm not going to go back out because I have a mound of work I want to complete tonight:
3 theology reflections
Reread HOD
First draft of HOD paper
Non-fiction and fiction responses
Fiction revision
Non-fiction revision
Read Call of the Wild
Start reading On the Road

If I can get all of this done before 10:30pm and be asleep by 11:30pm that would be so pro because then I can get up and get my car's oil changed before class. I need to start riding my bike again, I can't afford to drive anywhere anymore.

Click on the link, you'll like it: Lovely

No thoughts just yet.

I'm about to go into work. I was a little hesitant about telling Kyle that I would cover for him, but yesterday I went into Borders to pick up my final paycheck and I realized that what I made in two 20+ hour weeks at Borders I made in one weekend serving at my new job and it was definitely less than 20 hours. So thanks Kyle for giving me your shift tonight.

It's been raining all day. It started out nice and then while I was in class it started to pour and I was completely unprepared and ended up getting soaked through for the rest of the morning. Poor planning on my part, Lace would have been so disappointed. The one great thing about this rain is that the leaves are starting to come out. The Park has a real musty and mossy look from my apartment in the rain, it reminds me of a deciduous version of what springtime on The Mountain is like. If only the stupid apartment building in the middle of my window would disappear.

More after work.

Okay, back from work. I'm about to go run down on the treadmill for a little while, even though tomorrow is a BOMF morning. Work was kind of lame. Not end of world lame and really if it hadn't been for the large party that wanted individual checks, the night would have been perfectly fine. I'm just going to work out the frustration so I can get to work on some homework. I have about three days worth of back-work that I need to get out of the way before I can start final projects. If I can have everything finished and out of the way by Friday before I go to work then I will be in really good shape.

I'm not going to write anymore after I run, but I really wish I had some good parting words for you. So instead you guys should come up with some parting words for me and leave a comment or send me a message. Cliches are always fun.

Sleepy, cranky, and something in between.

Have you ever been so exhausted and drained to the point where you can't keep your eyes open, but once you lay down and actually want to go to sleep you find that you can't? Because that's me right now. I just want to get a couple of hours of sleep so that I can wake up early and finish some work and get a run in before class. I just need to get a little bit of sleep first and it's not happening. I've turned everything off, tired reading, classical music, opening my window, closing my window, and drinking water. Nothing is working and if I knew I could get eight hours in I would go for the codeine, but since I only get four at the most I have to work through this on my own. I need to reread The Art of War so that I can get control over my mind and bend my body to my will while at the same time learning how to conquer Mongolia.

Oh sleep! Where art thou? 

When I was young and naive I would have said arson, but now I say voodoo! - Louise

I'm writing in my living room right now. I have the lights off, the window is open wide, and there is a warm breezing coming in. It feels amazing. It's so quiet and relaxing just sitting here going over the day and getting ready for tomorrow. That is until some asshole pulls up to the building with their windows down and the music at full volume.


Jewish Girl In Wasps Clothing has a new blog called Heaven Health Me! and it's awesome, especially for someone who is struggling with changing her lifestyle and becoming healthier. And while I've been able to lose ten pounds relatively easy, I still need motivation and to know that there are other women out there trying to do the same thing. She's started out by doing a week of no sugar and documenting everything that she eats and what she does for exercise. She's done well so far with only a few cheats, but she doesn't seem to exercise a lot or at least not tell us about it. That's the one thing I have to push myself to accomplish. I've started running. I'm trying to run everyday because I've found when I tell myself I'll only run a certain number of day and end up procrastinating and putting it off. If I force myself to run everyday I won't be able to put it off until tomorrow. Today I did a little less than 2.5 miles according to mapmyrun.com. That's definitely the longest I've run without stopping, EVER. I'm going to try and get something in before class tomorrow morning otherwise I have to run on the treadmill before work. Damn me for telling Kyle I would take his shift. Actually I don't mind covering for him. Kyle's great and since I don't do anything on Tuesday's I'm happy to make some money. Just no coupons tomorrow, please.

JGIWC also mentioned in her blog that Passover is coming up. I miss Passover. I'm not an incredibly religious person. I find the history and the culture of religion to be more interesting than religion itself, but I always had a connection with the Easter season. Not a big fan of Christmas, but I always liked Easter and for more than just the awesome baskets that Lance makes. Seriously the guy is pro at putting together an Easter basket. Anyways Easter season always began for me at Passover when the church community would preform a Sedar meal. It was always an intense process with a lot of steps that began to become second nature as I got older. Over time the meal became more complex as the community grew larger to the point where people tried their hand at poor Hebrew and reciting prayers from memory. The older I got the more I understood the importance of each step in the meal its significance. I was never a huge fan of Palm Sunday other than the fun palms and the fact that it marked the beginning of Holy Week. The church also started to get decorated for Easter during Palm Sunday, however by Holy Thursday and Good Friday everything would be taken out and covered up. I always liked being an altar server during Holy Thursday and Good Friday because it made mass more interactive during the longer hour. Also by Friday the Passion is repeated a third and much longer time and by then even I found it to be a little exhausting. The close of Thursday and Friday were also really intense. Everyone leaves in silence and in the dark. The sticky sweet incense lingers in everyones's clothes and hair you're not allowed to make a sound until after you reach your car. Good Friday also marks the last Friday that I had to eat fish to dinner. I didn't go to Easter Vigil until I was in eight or ninth grade. Vigil is a three hour mass late on Saturday night. It's about reawakening in the Church and new members are baptized and confirmed. The church has started to fill back up with candles and flowers and by the time mass is over it's Easter Sunday. Sunday everything is in bloom. Candles and Easter lilies are everywhere and people are dressed in color. The statues and pictures are uncovered and everything seems to have life again. Easter is the spring bloom after a long Lenten season. After Easter comes Pentecost which deals with the aftermath of Jesus ascending into Heaven and how the Church developed afterwards, but you don't get a basket for that.

This weekend minus just about everything that I've really done.

I need to wake up, right now! I went over to a friend's house last night after work and I stayed out way too late. I got home a little after 2am and just crashed the minute I sat down. I even woke up in the same position that I remember falling asleep in. I woke up around 7am because there were squirrels outside my window making their weird noises on the ledge. I forgot about the screen and thought that they could get in so I crawled under the blanket in fear of the squirrels and ended up falling back asleep until a little while ago. I should have just gotten up, because now my body is all messed up. I do not mind hanging out late with my friends. We all have different schedules so its usually only late at night that we can see each other. I think last night I just made the mistake of going out in my pajamas and ended up falling asleep on his couch a couple of times. I really did enjoy Love and Other Drugs though. It was a lot different than I thought it was going to be and I very much enjoyed a naked Jake Gyllenhaal I just should have had some caffein instead of water. Next time we can watch movies at my apartment and you can just sleep on the futon when you get tired and I can just go to bed. 

So now I'm trying decide if I can get away without having to redo the makeup on my face. One of my friends at work said something to me about how I never where makeup and so I've been practicing with some different stuff to see what I like and I've come to two conclusions: I desperately need to get contacts and I need to buy some new makeup. I just need to make a little more money. I have to pick up my check up from my old job tomorrow night and after that I should have rent for the month and I can start putting together my summer shopping fund. Yay! I may get My Hebrew Friend to go to the outlets with me and help me shop. He's not gay or a woman but he has a good eye for fashion and unlike my lady friends he won't try and sabotage me. That's the one thing I hate about women, they always seem to be in competition with each other even when there's no reason to be. I mean if you really want him then take him. There are a billion other guys in the world and I'm in no hurry to find anyone permanent anyways. Besides if I'm really serious about finding someone then I need to start listening to the things I tell other people who are serious about looking for a significant other. I need to find someone who like books, movies, exercise, being outside, sports, boats, will travel to warm and cold places and will let me give our children hardcore Old Testament middle names, which definitely means I need to get out of Philadelphia or hope that Mark Smith has a hot son. 

In May I'm going to Rio (don't ask) and I'll be getting fitted for contacts and hopefully at the rate I'm going I will be in the 130s, so I am pretty jazzed for the summer.

"I love haikus you should too." - TC

We're doing poetry in Creative Writing and I can definitely say that it is not my strongest genre, but I had a lot of fun putting together different types of poetry into small collections. I did a whole set of haikus on accidents that people make like spilling milk and breaking a window with a baseball. My friend has been doing a lot of flash fiction lately and I dabbled with that a little bit to make a collection about working at Borders. My teacher thought that that the whole topic was funny and impressed that I could come up with that much about working at a bookstore. My last piece that I submitted was a long poem with each stanza about a different guy. I've reworked it a little since its original submission. Somethings have been taken out and added in, but it still has a ways to go before it's ready for my final portfolio.

The Boys

I got the letter in the mail.

It was a surprise, something out of the blue.

My friends told me to answer it.

I didn’t want to because of her,

But I did it anyways.

I always loved your frizzy brown curls.

I called them your Jew curls

You said they were from the mystery genes that came from the Dark Continent.

I didn’t work, I was trapped.

I can’t stay on the farm.

He’s playing guitar by the gazebo.

No one interrupts him and a crowd gathers.

I stop to listen, he pulls me over.

Now it’s just him and me.

His long curly blonde hair tickles my cheek.

I bring him back and Merrie questions him.

One thing leads to another and we’re in bed, all three of us.

Laughing, whispering, watching the tiny television.

The phone rings and he answers.

We look on patiently, studying the emotions in his face.

He is gone and we are back to watching Roseanne.

It’s physics he says, no more simple than that.

I’m too distracted by the color of his ginger hair to listen.

The smell of Irish Spring lingers on his pale skin and I forget where I am.

I reach my hand out to brush the closely cut ginger bristles.

We stop.

Nothing is moving, I can’t even breathe.

I turn my head and Matt is there.

I take a step back and then I am gone.

We walk along the grounds, even in the rain.

After games we take hits and munch on left over snacks.

On nights when it is cold we scream at the TV screen,

Our favorite basketball teams running up and down the courts in front of us.

His wavy black hair bounces as he shakes his head and I smooth it away from his eyes.

I take his calls at all hours of the night until one night they stop.

I for a minute and then delete his number.

I tell my mom he’s Jewish, all the way from Israel.

You better not let anything serious happen with him she says,

I imagine the thin line of her mouth on other side of the phone.

We’re watching Hank and talking about writing.

It’s all we do now

My best friend,

My peer review.

No more late nights and sneaky mornings.

His dark beard against my face scratches my skin.

We must have fallen asleep while reading again.

I’ll call you tomorrow.

When I look out my window I see my friend's apartment building.

Soooo....I wasn't going to write and then I was going to write and then I wasn't and then the Captain said to Alfonso, "Alfonso tell me a story so Alfonso began: "It was a dark and stormy night and the Captain said to Alfonso, 'Alfonso tell me a story,' so Alfonso began," you get the point. So I decided just to write. I also have a boatload of energy because I'm eating way too late (I usually like to have my last big meal before 8pm but I got distracted) and I also took some old Robitussin that I found on top of my fridge and I'm not sure it its the AWAKE kind or the kind that makes you drowsy so I'm now trying to wear myself down and channel some of the energy.

Today started out bad and got exponentially worse in a very short time and other than a nice phone chat with Yonni (he passed his Praxis! Virtual high five bro!) and some potentially good news from my school boss, it wasn't until 5pm that things started to turn around. But hey we all have those days, hopefully yours don't include getting a boot on your car or locking your keys and your school books inside the car and then having to haul yourself across town to find keys to get yourself into your apartment and then into your locked car. Mine did! But thanks to Kat, Anna, and John who let me vent extensively to them, and to my advisor who gave me the number to AAA and didn't mind that I spent the entire class talking about registration instead of reading, and to Chris who was totally adorable to me for some reason. Boy you are going to be such a hottie in two years, it's a shame you're only nineteen now. And really once I got back into my apartment and chatted with my dad I really calmed down and didn't care about the day. In fact after I got de-booted, I went to Old Navy and picked up another work shirt (thank you small fat kids) and took a really long walk around Lower Merion. Thank god I walked because with this cold I came home with a giant trail of snot running down my face because I didn't have any tissues and I didn't want to wipe my nose on the sleeve of my good fleece. Gross, but I really like my clothes. My mom really pulled me through the day very unexpectedly when she sent me a text telling me to read the biography for Cathy Lamb on Amazon. Her books look lame and kind of like the stuff Samantha is into, but her bio is great. I swear I'm the East Coast version of this woman  minus twenty years. I've also become the Iron Chef of leftovers. Tonight it was just chicken, spinach, a leftover tomato, and leftover pasta. Totally tasty, but as I now look at the cooked spinach I am reminded of a friend who won't eat spinach because of a bad experience he had with it and the thought is making me vomit a little inside my mouth. Yuck.

OOOOoooo! New song of the day! I know I'm bad, but I swear I better about other things like boys and shoes, but maybe not majors since I did change that. But anyways here it is: The Naked and Famous - Young Blood.

I like Ike: The Canadian Orphan.

What a day or at least what a day to be on it! Or well actually what a day to check what time I have to register: 8am tomorrow morning. Thank God I looked because I was thinking that I was supposed to register sometime next week. I think this is going to be the second time that I will have been able register on time and I actually got an amazing registration time. Only priority is ahead of me so all of my classes are still open. In fact the biggest decision I've had to make is whether or not to take four or five English classes next semester. If I take four I can go after a Religious Studies minor, but if I take five, well then I'm taking five English courses. So I don't really know, but I have to reserve my place in at least four classes tomorrow morning.

Is that what five courses looks like?

I put my mirror on today. Yay! No more extensive head turning for Sidney. For those of you who don't know (my parents) I broke the driver's side mirror off of the side of my car a few weeks ago and have finally been able to put a new one back on. I'm a poor college student who can't afford to send her car to get fixed in a garage so I ordered a cheap mirror off of eBay and put it on myself. Unfortunately what was supposed to have been a ten minute job turned into an hour and a half ordeal that required my Uncle Pete to help me drill out a couple of rusted and stripped screws and take a hack saw to the old mirror. Is was quite the task, but I now know how to take inside panel off of my door, do some basic rewiring and how to replace a side view mirror. Screw college, I should just become an over priced mechanic.

On the ride home from Norristown while I was enjoying my new mirror I heard the new song from A Silent Film Driven By Their Beating Hearts. I am in love with this song. It's even better than their last single You Will Leave a Mark and it's on the radio a lot so I will soon be sick of it, but I am enjoying every minute of it until I am. MGMT is also making a radio comeback. Yay! I've been hearing Kids and Time to Pretend a lot lately and it's giving me freshman year throwbacks when Dan, Matt and I would watch youtube videos and pick the best music video. I always picked Kids and they always let me win! Though I think it that that had more to do with Dan wanting to get in my pants and Matt no wanting Dan to win. Either way. And if you haven't heard Arcade Fire's We Used to Wait you HAVE TO CHECK IT OUT. It is the greatest song of the season, I mean it.

April shower bring May flowers...

Brilliant day. I have never ever been this productive on a Tuesday, ever. I usually come back form class in the morning and just go back to bed for the rest of the day. Today was different. I went to class, watched O Pioneers! (didn't have to watch the clock or listen to Mitch ramble), went home. Usually my day would end there. Today I cleaned up all the laundry that I had left out to dry in my living room, got the baskets put away and disinfected my apartment. It helped with my sickliness because as of now I feel almost completely better. And if it weren't for the slight cough or my inability to climb three flights of stairs without being completely out of breath I would say that I was healed. I also met with my professors about paper rewrites, applied for summer registration and got my pin number. I met with my American Lit. group and got a power drill for tomorrow (I'm hoping it also comes with dinner). I finished a shit ton of homework, I never do homework on Tuesday. The only downside of the day was that I accidentally ripped part of my top lip off with duck tape and Kohl's was all out of chubby little boy dress shirts.

Yeah something like that.

I purposely reserved Tuesday as my nothing day because I figured that with working all weekend I would want a free day, but it's really just been a waste of the day for me. Next semester if I end up with so much free time I'm just going to put in extra hours in the office. I'm also supposed to take a service learning class next year where I have to tutor in the Writing Center so I may use the time for that. I'm also thinking that as much as I hate hate HATE early classes I'm going to go back to 8:30am and 9:00am  classes. I feel like I'm wasting too much time in the morning when I don't start classes until 10am. Last night I fell asleep before 10pm and ended up waking up before the sun came up and I got a lot of stuff done before I fell back to sleep for a few more hours. If I can get my sleep schedule under control next semester I think I will be on to something. 

We've started poetry in Creative Writing and I have to write my set tonight. I'm not workshopping this time so I don't think I'm going to share with My Hebrew Friend. I do want him to go over my Non-Fiction piece that I haven't gotten back yet. That piece wasn't workshopped either, but I really liked working on it so I want someone else's opinions about it besides my professor's. Yonni expect the stories sometime this weekend or early next week. Creative writing isn't the only stuff I have to work on. My Seminar paper needs to be filled out more. Green told me she wants more autobiographical stuff and more anecdotes about my experiences with my mother. Lance may be more featured on the blog, but my mother has become quite the topic in Seminar.  

Happy sunny day.

Today has been the loveliest of all the days so far and I unfortunately missed my opportunity to wear any of my lovely dresses because of my damn cold/throat/ear thing. I went back to the nurses office today and after waiting for an hour I was told that I had a ridiculous amount of fluid in my ear, that my lymph nodes were swollen and there was a chance that I may have mono. I already knew that I had fluid in my ear and that my nodes were swollen, I can feel the pain every time I turn my head. I walked out of there with a packet of Sudafed, a packet of ibuprofen and no mono test. I should have just taken a nap in the sun. I intend to kick whatever I have by Thursday because I'm sick of feeling sick and I'm starting to get frustrated and anxious and it's making me very upset and a little teary.

Sad news: My standby formal date can't go to formal with me so I'm thinking I may not go. I toyed with the idea with asking a couple of other people but one has recently discovered his liking for acid and the other works on Thursday nights plus I don't think hanging around a bunch of drunk college students is really his scene anymore especially since most of them are sorority and fraternity people.

Happy news: Spring is officially here in my mind. I don' care if we end up with a few more days of poor weather, I have already started planning summer clothes and other bits of sunniness. My apartment complex also cleaned out the pool this weekend so now I can see a giant blue shell from my apartment and it's making me excited to lay by the pool in the coming months. This will be even more exciting if Anna decides to move into one of the buildings. If she moves in there will be more Ritas, Llanerch, and Caitlin than last time. So excited for Anna! I've also super cleaned out my room and washed ALL of my linens. I opened the window really wide and now everything feels very clean and breezy and it's greatly improved my mood.

Funny news: So I ran into Kat today in the stairwell between classes. She had a good laugh at my expense and then we talked about what happened after I blacked out on Friday. Apparently I made a bigger hot mess of myself than I realized and also embarrassed My Hebrew Friend in the process. I am so so so sorry Yonni, you should have just let me fall on the floor. And then after we left some people got all confessional. I wish I could have been able to view the whole evening from a distance and see myself and everyone after I went nuts and had to be carried away. Kat thought the whole evening was funny and we've made tentative plans for a more responsible next weekend. 

A little pain, a little pasta, and a whole lot of tea.

I love my new job, but I definitely forgot how messy restaurant work can be, especially when it's high volume. I've been spoiled up at the Hob Knob with just one seating and then leaving by 9pm at the latest. It's more like the GMI, long hours, more tables, a way more eclectic group of staff, but instead of Jamaicans we have have Mexicans. I need to get a couple more white shirts this week, hopefully Kohls restocked their boys department.

I have almost awesome news: Lance says that I can get the Wii when I come home this summer. Samantha will be in Florida for most of the summer so I won't have to fight her for it. I just have to reason with my mom. Mom if you give me the Wii, you'll have more of a reason to come visit PA and stock me with food. So it's a win-win for both of us.

I also have bad news for me: my throat simply will not feel better. I have done everything that I can think of to soothe the icky pain. And it's been a tough week with work and school and the crazy weather (which I think is aggravating it even more). I've dissolved more than my fair share of cough drops, gargled an unhealthy amount of peroxide, drank my body weight in herbal medicinal teas, and neti potted to the point where my sinuses resemble the Jersey Shore more than a human sinus cavity and there has been no relief. I want to rip my throat out and then punch someone it's irritating me that bad. I'm also a little worried that it's doesn't mess up my tonsils or travel up my Eustachian tube to my ear and give me an ear infection. The thought of any of those make me almost want to cry and if it does turn into tonsillitis or an ear infection I will be crying and very very unhappy.

On another note in the life of Sidney: I got extremely schwasted this weekend. I completely intended to get inebriated when I went out on Friday which is why I had a friend give me a ride to the bar, but I didn't intend to let it get as far as it did. I have had to be a responsible grownup lately and I just wanted a night where I didn't have to worry about driving anywhere or having to worry about any of my friends doing something silly. I wanted to have a selfish night, it's just been a while since I've had a selfish night and I ended up pre-gaming the pre-game. I broke the Cardinal Rule of field hockey and I paid the price, but I also have one of the most amazing friends in the entire world who took it upon himself to take me home and take care of me. He didn't have to do any of it, but he took it upon himself to help me out because that's the type of person he is: an incredibly selfless and caring friend. He took me home and got me cleaned up and into bed. He made sure that I was safe and then I think he told me a story about a bunny rabbit (or maybe it was a squirrel). He probably would have even stayed the night if I had really needed him too, he's just that awesome. I need to do something in return for going above and beyond, but I know he won't accept anything. So I'm letting him know: If you every need anything, anything at all in the whole wide world you can call me and I will be like the mailman. I will fight rain, snow, sleet, hail, or death of night to help you out. I love you, man (that last part would have sounded way cooler if I were Jason Segel).  He wrote an incredibly beautiful post about the selflessness of friendship. Good friends hep each other out no matter what. I would do anything for my friends because I love them.

No sleep and other things.

I had terrible sleep last night and I knew it was going to happen as soon as I walked into my building last night. I knew it was going to be bad, my back seized up for just a few seconds, but it changed the way my muscles were set up. They became all tense and tight but only in a way that I could feel when I laid down to get to sleep. It was so painful and uncomfortable that I spent the night close to tears for just trying to relax and get to sleep. I downed half a bottle of Advil and a box of chamomile tea to ease myself, didn't work so well. I zoned in and out of sleepiness and then shot out of bed when I randomly remember something from earlier in the day. That little it of excitement threw me off for a while. I did get to sleep eventually, sometime between 1am and 2am. Miserable cold and with my lady "moment" I had no chance against the insomnia. I just wish I had that bunny last night, for some weird reason it really made me feel better.

I'm getting new sheets this weekend. I'm very excited about that. I'm trying to get my room together and more unified like I would like it and I need to new sheets. I have a pair that match my rose comforter, but my new comforter has no sheets to match and I need new sheets anyways. I'm going to get some pillowcases to match too. After I wash my comforters and put on the new sheets I may even feel better about my cold. And if Yonni comes over in the next month he has to wear a shirt if he sits on my bed because I don't want any bear hair on my bed, I want really clean sheets for at least a month. By the end of June I'm hoping to have matching shams, new curtains, and the rest of my bed put together.

For the past week I have been streaming cancelled shows on Netflix. It's been great. I started with Party Down, a show about out of work actors who pay their bills by waiting for a catering company in the LA area. It's an assortment of characters from the aging actress (Jane Lynch) to the new in town guy and the hit his peak too early man (Adam Scott). It totally reminded me of my childhood from the assortment of people Lance had working for us to the wacky and insane people we catered for. Rich people are so cracked out. Don't give up after the first episode. Party Down is like The Office you have to watch a bunch all in a row and then it's really funny. I've also been watching Michael and Michael Have Issues starring Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter. I'm a big fan of their earlier work in The State but this show seems a little forced, no wonder Comedy Central didn't renew it for a second season. It's a show about producing a show with sketches thrown into the mix. It had a weird flow to it.