As much as I write for myself to see my thoughts and ideas on print, I am also writing to an audience and sometimes I am a selfish writer. I've been avoiding writing on here for the past few days. I haven't been read the blogs I follow or following up on blogger emails. I've put this thing I do in a state of suspended animation. It's selfish because I have readers who follow this blog and depend on me to write for them. As much as writing is an escape for me, reading this blog is a distraction from life for them. And so I have to try not to be so selfish.
It's been a very stressful time for me lately. I'm in the process of wrapping up the semester and preparing for the finals I have to take next week. There's something different about the finals in the spring than the ones in the winter. In the winter it's just a race to winter break and Christmas presents, but in the spring it's life or death. Spring finals mean the last chance to end the year on a good note and to try to raise your gpa. For the lucky few it's graduation and the end of school. There's just more pressure and importance with spring finals. This means that I have been up and down. My emotions and self-control are out of control. I've either been extremely high or very low. There has been no middle ground for me. It might be the weather or the PMS but everything is just very sad and terrible or completely wonderful. I have a whole chocolate bunny tonight and cried during every movie I watched, mind you they have all been tragic romances with no happy endings. Just earlier today though I was running through the rain with some friends, excited about the summer showers and the last theology class. I just feel like I'm on a precipice staring down at something terrible and as I complete each final assignment the gap becomes smaller but when I go to sleep and wake up the next day the gap is just as wide as when I started.
I'm so close and tomorrow afternoon I will be finished for the week. I have to breathe deep and keep on going until then.
It's been a very stressful time for me lately. I'm in the process of wrapping up the semester and preparing for the finals I have to take next week. There's something different about the finals in the spring than the ones in the winter. In the winter it's just a race to winter break and Christmas presents, but in the spring it's life or death. Spring finals mean the last chance to end the year on a good note and to try to raise your gpa. For the lucky few it's graduation and the end of school. There's just more pressure and importance with spring finals. This means that I have been up and down. My emotions and self-control are out of control. I've either been extremely high or very low. There has been no middle ground for me. It might be the weather or the PMS but everything is just very sad and terrible or completely wonderful. I have a whole chocolate bunny tonight and cried during every movie I watched, mind you they have all been tragic romances with no happy endings. Just earlier today though I was running through the rain with some friends, excited about the summer showers and the last theology class. I just feel like I'm on a precipice staring down at something terrible and as I complete each final assignment the gap becomes smaller but when I go to sleep and wake up the next day the gap is just as wide as when I started.
I'm so close and tomorrow afternoon I will be finished for the week. I have to breathe deep and keep on going until then.
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