Saturday, January 15, 2011

To Yonni.

Hahaha I was about to get into writing this when the power went out. And then I fell asleep.


You told me that you kind of have me figured out. You said that you know me as a person, but that I struggle to tell you things about myself and that getting me to talk is like puling teeth. Which it is, I am much more willing to volunteer information about others than myself. It's the way I am, the way I was raised to leave no trace. Though that may have been more about camping than about human nature. Anyways it's a quality about myself that has let me easily transition from place to place without having deep emotional ties to people, it's also part of my soulessness, and also why I tend to not date much. By not sharing with others I am able to flit around as I please and not worry about the consequences that affect other people. Kind of like not having an emotional paper trail. 

You have only seen a very small portion of me as we have not known each other long. I know it's silly to say something like that, like I'm some sort of deeply emotional person with varying and fascinating characteristics. It's true though, we haven't known each other very long at all. You've also never seen me in my element. It's always at work, or after work, or after I've been working, or after a night class when I'm tired and drained for the day and the only reason I want to be around you is because you're a welcoming distraction for the end of the day. You've only known me in one of the lower times in my life. In the brief time that we've known each other you've witnessed one of the biggest landslides in my life. Someone had to, but it's not really how I am mostly. The picture on my Tumblr of me with my mouth open, that's what it's mostly like. Especially between the hours of 10am and 10pm. We've just never been anywhere for you to see me like that. 

Those texts you sometimes get where you think I'm not so sober? I'm usually not drunk and am just hiding behind that excuse so that if I do end up saying something stupid or regretful, I have something to hide my reasoning behind. I'm not ashamed I just don't text you again because I don't want you to think I'm clingy and that I'm a needy friend. Sometimes I just forget about using my phone at all some days too. I'm not comfortable sharing everything with you. I don't even share with my parents. Even stupid things about what movies I've watched or what music I've been listening to on my ipod. I sometimes only you tell you stuff because you're silly teasing finally gets to me and I have to say something to shut you up. I like when you do it though, otherwise no one would know anything about me. 

The post I wrote awhile ago on Tumblr is still true. You are one of the most genuine and endearing people that I know. I can tell about how you talk about your relationship with Kyle and the way you get excited about quoting your favorite movies. 







Ravenclaw is the best house. They have all of the wit and cunning of Slytherine and the courage of Gryffindor. They just know how to weigh the pros and cons of their actions before diving head first into things. They are incredibly smart and not at all 'Puffs. Cho Change was a fluke.