It's been a busy weekend and first half of the week and if I didn't write anything today I might as well not bother at all because if I wait any longer the entire weekend will have flown right out of my head. I had to take notes again on my phone to remember what happened (there was a lot of drinking and non-Mary Ann approved activities going on). Most of the notes were gargly jokes about menstruation and glory holes (that's right I made menstruation funny and a lot of people uncomfortable). This post's title was one of my gargly text drafts and a product of Employee of the Month, Ben. Thank you Ben for today's contribution.
Let's begin with Friday the night of red pants, lady glory holes and all the period jokes I could come up with in four hours of imbibing (high five for big vocab!). What was supposed to be the first night of Halloweekend turned into Let's Just Drink At McShea's Night. W. decided to ignore all of my innuendos at work especially my own little cherry gem. For those of you who weren't there it went something like this (I think):
"Hey W. you don't have any more cherries in your caddy. It's okay I don't have mine either."
That was really the beginning of the end for me, I'm pretty sure Alanna almost busted a gut at my disgusting wit. McShea's was quiet so we took over the bar and I took my time emptying the bar's PBR keg. I kept a lookout for one of my hockey coaches before remembering that he was on retreat for the weekend with the freshman. I need to remember to get his number for next time, it turns out that the man I so adamantly despised three years ago is the man version of me. All that wasted drinking time, oh well live and learn. Dez showed up three beers and two games of Spot the Difference later which almost made my night complete. What really did it was sitting next to W. while he made friends at the bar and making loud vagina references and sexy jokes out loud (Mom don't bother calling me I was drinking and it was Friday). The Ladies arrived just as I was about to call it a night, but I stayed an hour later to chat with them and sober up a bit more for the ride home. Don't drink and drive people, you might back into a dumpster and break your side view mirror off. I was glad I stayed too, turns out Slolly had seen The Crush and I always appreciate little nuggets of info about The Crush (word of advice: bad costume choice). When I got home I fully intended to make the cookies that I kept telling everyone I was going to make, but somewhere between getting in the apartment and tripping over my pants I missed the opportunity to whip up a batch of Netsle Tollhouse goodness.
The good thing about drinking for me is that I tend to wake up super early no matter what time I went to bed the night (morning) before. I used the time to make the cookie dough I had been intending to make since Wednesday before I had to be off to work. Work schmork. The only good thing was that it snowed buckets on Saturday and so people decided to wait until the last minute to get supplies from Superfresh and once they got to Superfresh and realized that Buca was open and that they could just eat out and bring home leftovers instead of buying groceries they came and tipped me money for serving them mediocre Italian food. Sometimes Mainliners can be cool. Sometimes.
After having the loud Friday night that I had (it turns out I can't really remember a chunk of it) I decided to have a quieter Saturday. I hung out with The Bear at his house. We watched Horrible Bosses and drank gin, I also ate the cookie dough from earlier. It was good. I also got my ass kicked by The Bear. It turns out I'm not good at wrestling someone who's a foot taller and has forty pounds of muscle on me. It was quite embarrassing and I let my competitive edge out way too aggressively which led me to hurting my back and looking like a complete fool. Once again live and learn.
Sunday and what should have been the culmination of Halloweekend fun was more like let's tuff my face as fast as possible at McShea's 2.0. For some reason going straight from work to hockey practice and then right to the bar for the Eagles-Cowboys game made me incredibly hungry (and incredibly smelly after a night of skating). D. handed over his plat of wings with the intention of letting me have one or two and I devoured the whole plate in two minutes (not quite record breaking but still impressive) I went on to have a very tall cheeseburger and more wings. At one point in the night D. bought us all green shots that were made up of rum, Midori, and pineapple juice. I don't do shots, but this one went down pretty easy. I told Lance about them and we're going to order some the next time we hit the Matterhorn.
I need to write more frequently so that I can remember more.
Finally....I AM A SORT-OF-AUNT AGAIN!!!! My cousin Dani has just given birth to her beautiful baby girl Rylee. I am ridiculously excited to meet the baby, hopefully the Little Ball of Laugh won't get too jealous.
Let's begin with Friday the night of red pants, lady glory holes and all the period jokes I could come up with in four hours of imbibing (high five for big vocab!). What was supposed to be the first night of Halloweekend turned into Let's Just Drink At McShea's Night. W. decided to ignore all of my innuendos at work especially my own little cherry gem. For those of you who weren't there it went something like this (I think):
"Hey W. you don't have any more cherries in your caddy. It's okay I don't have mine either."
That was really the beginning of the end for me, I'm pretty sure Alanna almost busted a gut at my disgusting wit. McShea's was quiet so we took over the bar and I took my time emptying the bar's PBR keg. I kept a lookout for one of my hockey coaches before remembering that he was on retreat for the weekend with the freshman. I need to remember to get his number for next time, it turns out that the man I so adamantly despised three years ago is the man version of me. All that wasted drinking time, oh well live and learn. Dez showed up three beers and two games of Spot the Difference later which almost made my night complete. What really did it was sitting next to W. while he made friends at the bar and making loud vagina references and sexy jokes out loud (Mom don't bother calling me I was drinking and it was Friday). The Ladies arrived just as I was about to call it a night, but I stayed an hour later to chat with them and sober up a bit more for the ride home. Don't drink and drive people, you might back into a dumpster and break your side view mirror off. I was glad I stayed too, turns out Slolly had seen The Crush and I always appreciate little nuggets of info about The Crush (word of advice: bad costume choice). When I got home I fully intended to make the cookies that I kept telling everyone I was going to make, but somewhere between getting in the apartment and tripping over my pants I missed the opportunity to whip up a batch of Netsle Tollhouse goodness.
The good thing about drinking for me is that I tend to wake up super early no matter what time I went to bed the night (morning) before. I used the time to make the cookie dough I had been intending to make since Wednesday before I had to be off to work. Work schmork. The only good thing was that it snowed buckets on Saturday and so people decided to wait until the last minute to get supplies from Superfresh and once they got to Superfresh and realized that Buca was open and that they could just eat out and bring home leftovers instead of buying groceries they came and tipped me money for serving them mediocre Italian food. Sometimes Mainliners can be cool. Sometimes.
After having the loud Friday night that I had (it turns out I can't really remember a chunk of it) I decided to have a quieter Saturday. I hung out with The Bear at his house. We watched Horrible Bosses and drank gin, I also ate the cookie dough from earlier. It was good. I also got my ass kicked by The Bear. It turns out I'm not good at wrestling someone who's a foot taller and has forty pounds of muscle on me. It was quite embarrassing and I let my competitive edge out way too aggressively which led me to hurting my back and looking like a complete fool. Once again live and learn.
Sunday and what should have been the culmination of Halloweekend fun was more like let's tuff my face as fast as possible at McShea's 2.0. For some reason going straight from work to hockey practice and then right to the bar for the Eagles-Cowboys game made me incredibly hungry (and incredibly smelly after a night of skating). D. handed over his plat of wings with the intention of letting me have one or two and I devoured the whole plate in two minutes (not quite record breaking but still impressive) I went on to have a very tall cheeseburger and more wings. At one point in the night D. bought us all green shots that were made up of rum, Midori, and pineapple juice. I don't do shots, but this one went down pretty easy. I told Lance about them and we're going to order some the next time we hit the Matterhorn.
I need to write more frequently so that I can remember more.
Finally....I AM A SORT-OF-AUNT AGAIN!!!! My cousin Dani has just given birth to her beautiful baby girl Rylee. I am ridiculously excited to meet the baby, hopefully the Little Ball of Laugh won't get too jealous.
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