I made him, I can break him.

God I watch weird television shows with weird dialogue. That's usually where I get my blog titles from. In fact absolutely nothing in the title relates to the content of my blog post, most of the time. So now you all know what's going on up above, though for the life of me I can't remember where this one comes from, probably an ABC Family show or Glenn Martin, DDS. BTWs if you like Kevin Nealon, watch Glenn Martin.

So good news: I don't have work tomorrow. I always have Wednesdays off and usually I go to the beach but I have so much to do before I go up to Vermont. On of my friends had expressed interest in going but then they changed their minds and I'm actually a little grateful that they changed their minds because I would have gone even though I didn't really want to. I'm retarded like that, I do things for my friends sometimes when I don't want to because I feel obligated to as a friend and usually I don't mind because I love my friends, but sometimes I have to think about me.

So bad news: I got into a bit of a fight with a friend tonight. It was really more of a tiff, but I didn't listen to my friend and I think I made him feel a little bit embarrassed and uncomfortable. I feel really bad about that. We were at a bar with another one of my friends and I wouldn't let go of something so he left.  My other friend totally called me out on it later, but then he got tipsy on his beer challenge and forgot about it, but I still feel bad. Sometimes I pick up on things, even things that I don't really care about or make a big deal about, and don't let them go. Even if there is absolutely no point to my argument I still feel like I have to win. I get like that with the people I feel really comfortable around, it's a weird quality about me.

So good news: I bought an amazing strapless push up bra last weekend and I am in LOVE with it. I used to hate strapless because they aren't as supportive as I like on my chest, but I got one from Victoria's Secret a few months ago and I wear it almost all of the time. Last weekend I found a similar one in black with a bit of padding to create plunge and it is perfect. It supports everything and I fill it out. It also helps that I got measured and realized I needed a bigger cup size for that collection. Sometimes I'm worried that when I get pregnant I'm going to have huge chest and will have to hire two men to carry each one around for me. I have several years to contemplate that plan though. I will say that I am in love with this new bra. I was never a fan of any sort of push up because of the false illusion that it creates, but fuck it, this bra is awesome.

I love coming home late form the bar. I get super tired, but am just awake enough to get home and get into bed and fall into a deep sleep. I love having a nice time out with friends and trying new beers with Neil from his beer challenge. I'm a little bummed with my second beer tonight because I couldn't finish it. It got to be too sticky and sweet by the end, but I did love Neil's beer with the piggies on the can. Not so much the beer, a little hoppy, but the dancing pigs on an orange can were cute and fun. 

Martin feels pregnant.

Crazy weekend. I'm not even sure how I managed to fit everything in that I did or that I even made it to Monday, but it happened and now it's Monday. After Thursday's adventures in eating which led to a very slow Friday morning breakfast at Yonni's with Cynthia! It was Israeli themed, very delightful assortment of foods especially the vegetable salad. Anyways after work I had double work and then went out. My night was extremely slow and I only pulled about $60 and was going to go home when Yonni asked if I wanted to go out with him and some of his friends. He caught me at just the right moment going out the door because I was all set to go home and take a shower and just go to bed, but instead I dug my other set of work clothes and drove out to meet them. While I was routing around in my car I had a nice conversation about how I'm from Vermont with our sous chef T. I don't actually know what T's real name is because it's just what everyone calls him. I should also start carrying around eyeliner with me because I didn't have a lot of makeup on at work and no one else had any with them before I left for the bar. It happened again Saturday night too when I went out again. Friday was a good night: Yonni did karaoke to Lady Gaga. I also got a chance to meet a couple of his friends. Very nice people, I particularly enjoyed his friend's girlfriend. She had a lovely personality and was incredibly funny. She also introduced Yon to Jerseylicious. He already does his own version of GTL, maybe a little Hebrew with a Jersey accent now.

Saturday I woke up early and drove out to Lancaster to see my mom who was down visiting my grandfather. It was a nice visit. We went out to breakfast at some kitschy country place. The food was good but it had a very religiously oppressed feeling to it, but you get that feeling anyways when you're in Lancaster County. There was a book rack with books for sale to keep waiting guests entertained. My two personal favorites were 52 Lies Heard in Church Every Sunday and The Big Book of Church Jokes.

There were a couple other Amish romance stories but I had to stop to eat. After breakfast we drove out to Palmyra to get Lebanon bologna for my dad. Lance only likes a very specific hard, extra dry bologna that comes in a cloth sack from a small specialty meat store with a German name where he grew up. Every time my mom goes without him she picks up the wrong one and there are only two to choose from. This time we made sure to call Lance before purchasing. She also kept picking things up and offering to buy them for me and my friends. I personally don't care for shoefly pie but if Yonni or Marg do I can give them directions to the place. After Palmyra was Lititz. Lititz is a smaller quainter version of Hershey that always smells of a better tasting chocolate due to the small factory that melts and molds chocolate almost every day of the week. We had lunch at a really charming cafe where the waitresses are dressed up as Victorian newsboys. The food was really really good and I may even drive back to visit again even though I've had more than my fair share of small yuppy towns. After lunch my mom had a strong desire to get her eyebrows waxed so she took me to get my nails done and then we did a little shopping. I've developed an obsession with the Lacie collection from Victoria's Secret and I've been trying to collect something in every color available, except for the ones with glitter. The still look a little tacky for me. I came home afterwards and then went over to Yonni's for more Israeli food.It was a nice time with Yonni, Cynthia! and Harry. Later I did the Cricket circuit with him and his sister. I didn't drink much, but when we left I got really really warm almost to the point that I thought I was going to pass out on his kitchen floor. I don't know what's going on but that's the second time that that's happened to me this summer and I'm starting to think that it's hormones from my birth control. I'm not thrilled if that's the case because the other forms out there don't look very appealing to me unless I've had three kids or want to gain three hundred pounds. I eventually fell asleep though and woke up Sunday feeling well rested and a little paranoid that I was getting sick. Summer colds are no fun.

Work was super slow Sunday morning. I made about fifty bucks for lunch and then got cut. I would have been made but there were absolutely no reservations on the books and with eleven servers on I thought it would be fair to let someone else try and make some money. I'm really excited that we have one of our old bartenders back. He's crazy but he does good bar business. After work I was maybe going to see a  movie but then when my plans got postponed I passed out. I wasn't even aware that I was tired until I laid down and then was completely shocked to wake up around 10:30pm. I only nap like that when I'm sick and my body needs extra rest so I think that I just needed some extra rest time to kick whatever I had going on. I only woke up too because I had a billion texts from my mom, Yonni and Neil. My mom just had to tell me she made it home before she went to bed and Neil wanted me to go to the bar with him and some people from work. If I hadn't already been in bed I would have considered it, but I told him that we would go out tomorrow night and play quizzo and have Ryan serve us kitchen messups. Sasha can come too! Yonni texted to tell me to blog and how he's really into Jerseylicious. I was going to write after that but then when I laid my head down again I didn't wake up until this morning.  I really needed the sleep I guess because I feel completely fine today and ready for running after work and maybe a showing of X-Men. I also need to get contact with Marg and see if she wants to go to Zavah before I head up to Vermont this weekend.

Who's having breakfast? You and the husband?

And Cynthia! too! Can't forget her. The title comes from a text that I got from a friend last night. It's about myself and another friend that I have breakfast with on a sort of regular basis. I laughed for about twenty minutes when I got the text and then I told my "husband" about it. I don't think he thought it was as funny as I did, but he should have because it is hilarious! Plus as much as I love love LOVE my friend I have absolutely no desire to marry him. Maybe cohabitate in a groovy multiple bedroom castle with a moat and some gentle crocodiles, but no marriage for us. Plus I'm still holding out for a proposal from Dan O'Brien.

This is Dan.

Anyways I have been eating for the last fourteen hours and I am full. Too full. It started with dinner last night. Anna and I took Martin to the Llanerch for a late dinner last night and we all overate. It was gross, but so delightful. Martin was on his third dinner because I told him to grab something to eat early in case it we didn't go until ten so he started with a burrito from Q'doba. And then apparently Lisa's roommate made something delicious that he had to get in on and that was his second dinner. We picked up Martin at 8pm for his third dinner where he ordered French onion soup and a meatball sub with a side of fries. He did eat everything though, Anna and I were impressed and we both eat a lot when we go to the Llanerch. Anna's cute because she won't eat when she goes with her boyfriend, but with me and Martin she goes all out. At the end of dinner he promptly announces that he felt pregnant, which I then promptly texted Dr. A and told him to be on the lookout for Martin in case he goes into labor during his presentation. Dr. A thought we were drinking and I had to explain that Martin just ate a lot and had a food baby. So funny.

When I got home I was so full and my hallway smelt disgusting: all warm and ethnic foody with a little rotten mixed in. I had to run to my apartment to keep from vomiting all over the hallway. So gross. It was a great feeling being full because I just got in bed and fell asleep watching Law and Order: SVU. I have gotten was into that show almost to the point where I have to hide under my blankets while I watch it. So sketchy in the world. I almost couldn't wake up this morning from such the excellent sleep, but I had to for my workshop. I decided to go wireless this time and stay in bed for my workshop. Such an excellent choice to do my workshop in my pajamas and just lay in bed listening to my peers talk about my piece and also read HelloGiggles articles too. I'm such a bad multitasker student. It's a good thing I don't use my computer in class.

After workshop I went back to sleep for a little bit but then I overslept and had to rush for Israeli breakfast with Yonni and Cynthia! No Kyle again. Sad face. Israeli breakfast is great because it's light but filling at the same time and has so much more flavor than cereal. He made an excellent vegetable salad with tomatoes, scallions, peppers, cucumbers and seasonings. So delicious and easy to make. I had to eat little by little because I was still so full from last night. I also had some lovely Israeli coffee with some cinnamon and a little orange juice added in. It tasted like spiced orange coffee. AMAZING!

Swallowing makes my tummy hurt.

Hebrew Friend beat me to it, but yesterday I went to the beach with some friends. I wasn't even thinking beach trip when he called me Tuesday and asked what time we should leave by. And when he said that he wanted to drive and that there were a few extra people coming I wasn't even thinking about where we would be going. I was just excited that there would be more than just myself this time. While I am all for alone time on the beach it is nice to have others around to talk to and go swimming with. I was also thinking that we would be going somewhere other than the state park since Yonni's a big fan of the southern beaches as well as the state park. I guess he's found his spot though because he asked for the park pass and knew exactly where to go down at the far end. It was a really nice selection of people who were with me too. There was my Hebrew Friend of course, but also Erin a girl I used to work with and Dev a lady that went to school with Yonni. I hadn't seen Erin at all since I left my job at the bookstore so it was nice catching up with her and I had only spoke a few words past hello with Dev when I first met her so it was excellent to get to know her as well.

Leaving Philadelphia it was extremely hot so we had the air conditioning on in the car for the ride down, but when we got out onto the beach we found it to be rather chilly and windy. The water was excellent with big waves and much warmer than it had been, but a few hours in I was huddled under two towels trying to keep as warm as possible. I swear it was going to storm, but then the sun came out and warmed us all up. Some even got a bit sunburned. It was nice to have so many people in the group because it gave us more things to do with each other. Yon brought a Frisbee as always though the wind made it hard to throw well at some points and Dev brought an excellent card game called Five Crowns. It was a bit like gin rummy and poker all mixed together but with a double deck of cards. The cards were really beautifully illustrated and reminded me of characters from an ancient Babylonian royal family or something you would have seen on one of the crusades. I even got a chance to read a little from Lolita and write in my log book. I showed the book to Yonni, but it's not finished and there isn't a whole lot about him in it. I need to start writing his stories down too so that he has a place in the archives. I want to finish the log book by the beginning of next summer so I need to be more diligant about writing in it.

After about six hours of beach time, my uncle invited us over for dinner and a chance to use a real toilet. Everyone agreed to some food before the trip home and I warned them that he likes to talk a lot. It seemed like a good time was had by all, Dev was really wonderful with my uncle, I think he liked her the best. It was a quick visit because we were all tired and wanted to get home. By the time we were back at Yonni's house I could barely keep my eyes open. I helped him clean up our beach mess as best as I could before I had to get back to my apartment and crash. It was wonderful to be tired from the sun and swimming because I soon fell soundly asleep and didn't even get a chance to read my Hebrew Friend's beach review until I woke up this morning. It has really been a wonderful summer so far. Vermont in a couple of weeks.

Did you come all the way down here just to play hide the salami?

For some reason right now my nose hurts. I'm not entirely sure why because it's not broken or dmanaged and from the outside it looks perfectly fine: small, alpine sloped, and a smattering of freckles along the bridge. For some reason though it just hurts. Maybe it's foretelling that something's about to happen like fisherman who get sore bones when it's about to storm. Hmmm, interesting superpower.

So I recently facebook stalked some people from high school to kill some time before class one night and lo and behold two girls from the same circle of friends are pregnant. Now I know that this is not some sort of pregnancy pact kind of thing but it was kind of ironic that they were two girls from a group that called themselves the Blonde Squad growing up. I'll leave you to ponder that for a second. Anyways one of them is in school to becoming a nurse and is almost complete. She was on her school's soccer team and works extra hard to make money for herself and now for the new little baby that is on the way. While we were never extremely close in school, we did work together in a lot of the same classes. I always respected this girl for pulling herself out of a tough life and not letting personal issues hold her back. While this unexpected pregancy could have derailed her completely, she has kept herself together and is using her unborn child to push herself to work harder than ever to accomplish her goals so that she can give her child the best in life that she can offer. The other girl from high school that is pregnant is an interesting personality. Brought up as a potential olympian in downhill skiing, she has always been a "free spirit" with an intense faith in God that sometimes rivals some of my mother's friends. The oldest of four children, she was actively involved in helping to raise her siblings before leaving for school and now that she is back she is still very family oriented. She writes a small blog dedicated to her pregnancy experiences and while some of the posts are flighty, there are a couple that are very endearing and honest about being a young, single mother in a town that often tries to push these situations under the rug. Now I have no intention of having a child before thirty and can not possibly comprehend my life right now with a child, especially when I can barely take care of myself sometimes, I do have to commend these girls especially the former for being so dedicated to their situations and and not letting their lives become completely derailed.

Off the pregnancy track, I am going to the beach for the day tomorrow which means a full night of homework for me. I'm going with my Hebrew Friend and maybe a couple of other people so it is guaranteed to be a good time, especially with this hot and lovely weather we are experiencing in the city right now. I also just got HappyThankYouMorePlease from Netflix so once I finish this and then my homework and remember to make the rice this time, I will watch it and let you all know how it goes. It's written by the guy from How I Met Your Mother and I think that he may have also directed it too. It looks like a cool indie flick about a writer and his friends, something I usually go for, but it was the line: "My great shame as a writer is that I’m just this suburban kid with good parents. Hardly Dickensian, you know what I’m saying?"

Bestie is back from Israel, finally.

I'm having a strong desire for a root beer float right now. I can't remember the last time I had one, but I'm pretty sure that I was still in high school and it was summer and I was living at home in Vermont. Root beer floats are the most impractical dessert to make when you live alone because you have to buy a hefty quantity of root beer and ice cream, much more than a person of one would want. I need to do some sleuthing and figure out which one of my friends likes root beer floats and then make two really big ones and light off the bag of fireworks I have in my closet.

One of my besties has returned from Israel. Yes, Hebrew Friend is back from the Holy Land. I went to pick him up from the airport in New Jersey early this morning and getting there was like going through the storms of storms. It started in Bristol. I could see giant bolts of lightening and the sky was black-purple. I wish I had had my sister's camera with me to take pictures of the sky. I'm a big fan of nature photographs especially the dark dangerous ones. Anyways after about an hour of hydroplaning I made it to Newark and picked up Yonni and brought him back to jolly ol' Pennsylvania. Yonni really is fantastic. All I asked for was pictures and he brought me back bath salts from the Dead Sea and a beautiful bottle of red wine from Israel. The label in all in Hebrew with Braille on the back. I'm going to save it for something special, maybe a going away dinner. He had some really excellent stories that he might share on his blog once he gets a chance to settle back into America. We chatted for a while and then went out to a diner to meet up with Kyle and another of their friends. Kyle and I had an excellent bonding moment over living abroad and driving through the Deep South. He really ought to come back to brunch with Yonni, Cynthia!, and me. There will be bacon.

Afterwards I had to head home. I had been awake for almost 30 hours and had worked a closing shift at Bucca. I was full from eating my body weight in fruit, which is a delicious feeling but makes me feel super full and sleepy. I got home around 11:30am and slept until 4:30pm. I had to get up so I wouldn't be up all night though I'm feeling pretty "up" right now. I went shopping for a little bit once I got up so could get out of the apartment. It was excellent over at Suburban Square. No one was there because it was the end of the day and a holiday weekend. I just with I had thought to go to VS first to pick up new underwear and then do the rest of my shopping. I have a ridiculous obsession with all things lace and I had wanted to pick up some new items, but I can save that for Tuesday.

I thought about going to the shore tomorrow, but I don't want to have to get up at 6am just to get turned away from an already filled up state park. Instead I'm going to stay in the city and head over to see my aunt in the afternoon. I can save the beach for another Wednesday if it means not having to wake up at the crack of dawn and get back in my car tomorrow morning. 

We haven't been dating long enough to have an anniversary.

It is 12:31am on a Wednesday and I feel incredibly beautiful right now. When I look in the mirror right now I see perfect freckles and blue eyes!

Okay on Wednesday I was on crack apparently. Really I had just gotten back from the bar in Narberth where I been out by myself stuffing my face and drinking Holy Moses White Ale. I spent more time eating than drinking, but still creepy old men wanted to talk to me and buy me beer. It was funny too because there were a couple of cougars in the place left over from quizzo night and they were going after him for cigarettes and trying to get him to go outside with them, but he stayed a stool to my right the entire time that I was there. It was kind of annoying at first, but then I just decided to become friendly with the bartender and spent the rest of the night chatting with him about bartending and the Jersey shore. It was also determined that I was responsible for emptying a bottle of bitters over the last couple of weeks. The bartender told me that I was the only one who ever orders it and I don't even drink it with alcohol. I do want to try an Old Fashioned sometime I just don't want to lay down the money if I can help it. That's why I love the Penn Valley so much because the bartender there will let me taste what he's making. Delicious and educational.

Wednesday morning I got up early and drove to the shore. It was a quick visit just a day in the sun and then home at night. I have to remember to pack some heavy duty bug spray when I go back this weekend because the horseflies were biting hard and by late afternoon it was either get in the water, get in the car, or be eaten alive. I did the water thing for a while. The ocean has warmed up considerably, however there had been a storm the night before so everything was still a little churned up and had a slightly fishy smell that got unpleasant after a while. The tide was extremely low all day, which I think was in part because of the storm. I had never seen the beach so flat even during regular low tides. It was nice to be able to walk out so far into the water and still have it be lower than my hip. Late afternoon though I had to get out of there and while I was packing up my car some guy approached me and started talking about the bay and how to get over there to take a picture of the foxes that live around there. I tried to politely shut him up and then I he asked me to go hiking with him, but I told I had other plans and was leaving. Twice this week I've been a magnate for totally creepy guys; I need to start keeping my pepper spray in my car from now on.

Last night I saw Transformers 3 with Neil. We went to the late show in Manayunk which was fun. It was a total date night for us. I wore lipstick and carried a big purse to sneak cheap food in and he bought my ticket. Now I thought that Transformers 2 was good, but OMG this one was amazing, and so funny too. Usually when movies are loaded with several high profile actors it's best not to expect much, but everyone was top notch. I kept whispering to Neil every time we were introduced to someone amazing. Seriously Frances McDormand as the head of NIA and John Malkovich as Sam's crazy boss was phenomenal. I was excited to hear Leonard Nimoy's voice as Sentinel, but it was Ken Jeong who stole the film with his part as a paranoid ex-NASA employee. I had a hard time buying Patrick Dempsey as an evil villain, but that's because I'm so used to him as the steamy Dr. McDreamy. The only one who wasn't outstanding was Rosie, but she's still new to acting. I will say that her hair was phenomenal in every shot, but as the movie progressed even Neil asked why she was still there. It was nice to see that Shia has evolved as an actor, but that he still hasn't lost the comedic from his Even Stevens days. I just wish we had seen more of the Whiwicky parents.

Wish I had a Camaro.