I made him, I can break him.

God I watch weird television shows with weird dialogue. That's usually where I get my blog titles from. In fact absolutely nothing in the title relates to the content of my blog post, most of the time. So now you all know what's going on up above, though for the life of me I can't remember where this one comes from, probably an ABC Family show or Glenn Martin, DDS. BTWs if you like Kevin Nealon, watch Glenn Martin.

So good news: I don't have work tomorrow. I always have Wednesdays off and usually I go to the beach but I have so much to do before I go up to Vermont. On of my friends had expressed interest in going but then they changed their minds and I'm actually a little grateful that they changed their minds because I would have gone even though I didn't really want to. I'm retarded like that, I do things for my friends sometimes when I don't want to because I feel obligated to as a friend and usually I don't mind because I love my friends, but sometimes I have to think about me.

So bad news: I got into a bit of a fight with a friend tonight. It was really more of a tiff, but I didn't listen to my friend and I think I made him feel a little bit embarrassed and uncomfortable. I feel really bad about that. We were at a bar with another one of my friends and I wouldn't let go of something so he left.  My other friend totally called me out on it later, but then he got tipsy on his beer challenge and forgot about it, but I still feel bad. Sometimes I pick up on things, even things that I don't really care about or make a big deal about, and don't let them go. Even if there is absolutely no point to my argument I still feel like I have to win. I get like that with the people I feel really comfortable around, it's a weird quality about me.

So good news: I bought an amazing strapless push up bra last weekend and I am in LOVE with it. I used to hate strapless because they aren't as supportive as I like on my chest, but I got one from Victoria's Secret a few months ago and I wear it almost all of the time. Last weekend I found a similar one in black with a bit of padding to create plunge and it is perfect. It supports everything and I fill it out. It also helps that I got measured and realized I needed a bigger cup size for that collection. Sometimes I'm worried that when I get pregnant I'm going to have huge chest and will have to hire two men to carry each one around for me. I have several years to contemplate that plan though. I will say that I am in love with this new bra. I was never a fan of any sort of push up because of the false illusion that it creates, but fuck it, this bra is awesome.

I love coming home late form the bar. I get super tired, but am just awake enough to get home and get into bed and fall into a deep sleep. I love having a nice time out with friends and trying new beers with Neil from his beer challenge. I'm a little bummed with my second beer tonight because I couldn't finish it. It got to be too sticky and sweet by the end, but I did love Neil's beer with the piggies on the can. Not so much the beer, a little hoppy, but the dancing pigs on an orange can were cute and fun. 

Is it really because I let you call me Barry?

Today is Friday which means that I have double work. Yesterday I did double work but in opposite order and then went to class and now I feel completely dead on the inside. Of course it didn't help that there was a giant lightning/thunder storm that started just as I was about to fall asleep, but right now I could really use a nap. I also think I strained my wrist at work this week, because right now it feels really sore anytime I bend it in any direction. I'm hoping it's just overused and not seriously damaged. I want to get out of tray service for the night, but I don't want to have to miss a whole bunch of work. I am also not going out tonight. I am putting my foot down right now and saying no. I have too much homework to catch up on and I am so tired that I just want to sleep.

So I finally caught up with my friend Karrie. She goes home every summer and so I don't see her very much. We try to call each other when we can, but for the last couple of weeks we were playing a very bad game of phone tag. It was literally to the point where I had to start passing messages to her through our friend Merrie just so I could maintain some sort of communication. Of Merrie, who was supposed to stay in the city for the summer, is now back in Baltimore and there is a good chance that Karrie will be back before Merrie is. My Hebrew Friend is currently in the Holy Land right now and hopefully taking the nice candid shots of Israel that I wanted him to take for me. He asked if I wanted something from Israel, but I just want to see what the desert country is really like. Almost all of my knowledge about Israel is ancient and comes from the religion classes that I take at school. My Hebrew Friend is straight up Israeli so he knows what it's really like and when he comes back I'm going to make him go through all of the pictures and explain everything to me. I had him go over currency and Hebrew before he left and now we're going to have more once I get those pictures. I'm hoping that Liz Bloch-Smith does another course to the Holy Lands next year so I can actually set foot in Israel and get a step closer to completing my minor. Next Thursday night/Friday morning Cynthia! and I are going to trek out to Newark to pick up our Hebrew Friend from the airport. I love random rambles through New Jersey. I used to do them all the time with friends at weird hours of the night.

Last night I watched Never Let Me Go with Keira Knightley, Andrew Garfield, and Carrey Mulligan. It's about a dystopian society in England where clones are grown and raised as organ donors for their Originals. The clones are raised in schools all over the countryside and not told about what they are until they are much older. They are also kept away from society and people have certain prejudices about whether or not the clones are real humans and have souls. The movie focuses on a group of friends: Kathy, Ruth, and Tommy, beginning as young children and following them until they begin their donations and eventual completion (death). The film is about young love and the pure human emotions or joy, love, and jealousy that every young person goes through. Even though I was familiar with the plot I couldn't help but cry throughout most of the movie because it was just too sad to know that those poor children would never have a full life, condemned to die as their organs are slowly harvested from them. Of course the crying could have also been from the PMS I'm currently raging against.

Kind of an Eeyore day.

Today was kind of a lame day. Maybe it was the weather, coming from total sunshine to total grey can be hard on a person, but I just haven't been able to get excited to about anything or the urge to actually get anything done. In fact I'm only writing out of boredom and desperation. The morning started out okay, I got up at a decent hour and drove to school. I got lucky with parking on Old Lanc and went for a run around Lower Merion before class. I like running in that area; I can look at the old houses and it's very quiet at that time of day.

American Lit. was boring as usual. You could literally hear students drift off. The class wouldn't be so terrible except that the teacher speaks in the most monotonous voice and goes off on tangents that are not related to what is going on in the class. And then of course there's That Guy. That Guy likes to talk, a lot. And he has one of those pretentious voices that everyone hates to listen too. After class when I was walking back to my car alone, a car full of guy yelled "SLUT" at me while they drove past. That's where the day went downhill for me. There was no one around me so they were obviously talking about me, but I had no idea who they were or what they were even talking about. It's not like I was dressed provocatively: sweatshirt, running pants, and sneakers. I was sweaty and my glasses were sliding off my face. I was so taken back that my mouth hit the ground and I couldn't move for a minute while I tried to comprehend what happened. Who yells stuff like that at people? What are you, eleven? Anyways I wanted to tell a friend about it since he usually has smart opinions and is a guy, but I've been getting a weird feeling about him (probably just the day and I'm probably reading too much into his writing tone. I need to stop listening to the Ballerina when she talks about him) so I texted Marg instead who insisted they were just being plain RUDE. Still I'm feeling really mad about it and all I want to do is go to sleep and wake up  ready to go running for BOMF.

I also have a giant know feeling in my stomach area and it's making me feel worse about the day. I just feel so crummy and I want to cry, but everything seems too silly to cry about and I feel like I shouldn't waste tears on such silly things. It's just the day after all. Tomorrow will be something new and all the silly feelings I have about school and work and my friends will be gone. I'm just really smad about how the day is going.

There were two spots of silver in my dark cloud: Jon is excited about going to see Matt & Kim (now we just need to raise some funds to get tickets and get more people to go with us) and I got a second interview.