I made him, I can break him.

God I watch weird television shows with weird dialogue. That's usually where I get my blog titles from. In fact absolutely nothing in the title relates to the content of my blog post, most of the time. So now you all know what's going on up above, though for the life of me I can't remember where this one comes from, probably an ABC Family show or Glenn Martin, DDS. BTWs if you like Kevin Nealon, watch Glenn Martin.

So good news: I don't have work tomorrow. I always have Wednesdays off and usually I go to the beach but I have so much to do before I go up to Vermont. On of my friends had expressed interest in going but then they changed their minds and I'm actually a little grateful that they changed their minds because I would have gone even though I didn't really want to. I'm retarded like that, I do things for my friends sometimes when I don't want to because I feel obligated to as a friend and usually I don't mind because I love my friends, but sometimes I have to think about me.

So bad news: I got into a bit of a fight with a friend tonight. It was really more of a tiff, but I didn't listen to my friend and I think I made him feel a little bit embarrassed and uncomfortable. I feel really bad about that. We were at a bar with another one of my friends and I wouldn't let go of something so he left.  My other friend totally called me out on it later, but then he got tipsy on his beer challenge and forgot about it, but I still feel bad. Sometimes I pick up on things, even things that I don't really care about or make a big deal about, and don't let them go. Even if there is absolutely no point to my argument I still feel like I have to win. I get like that with the people I feel really comfortable around, it's a weird quality about me.

So good news: I bought an amazing strapless push up bra last weekend and I am in LOVE with it. I used to hate strapless because they aren't as supportive as I like on my chest, but I got one from Victoria's Secret a few months ago and I wear it almost all of the time. Last weekend I found a similar one in black with a bit of padding to create plunge and it is perfect. It supports everything and I fill it out. It also helps that I got measured and realized I needed a bigger cup size for that collection. Sometimes I'm worried that when I get pregnant I'm going to have huge chest and will have to hire two men to carry each one around for me. I have several years to contemplate that plan though. I will say that I am in love with this new bra. I was never a fan of any sort of push up because of the false illusion that it creates, but fuck it, this bra is awesome.

I love coming home late form the bar. I get super tired, but am just awake enough to get home and get into bed and fall into a deep sleep. I love having a nice time out with friends and trying new beers with Neil from his beer challenge. I'm a little bummed with my second beer tonight because I couldn't finish it. It got to be too sticky and sweet by the end, but I did love Neil's beer with the piggies on the can. Not so much the beer, a little hoppy, but the dancing pigs on an orange can were cute and fun. 

Martin feels pregnant.

Crazy weekend. I'm not even sure how I managed to fit everything in that I did or that I even made it to Monday, but it happened and now it's Monday. After Thursday's adventures in eating which led to a very slow Friday morning breakfast at Yonni's with Cynthia! It was Israeli themed, very delightful assortment of foods especially the vegetable salad. Anyways after work I had double work and then went out. My night was extremely slow and I only pulled about $60 and was going to go home when Yonni asked if I wanted to go out with him and some of his friends. He caught me at just the right moment going out the door because I was all set to go home and take a shower and just go to bed, but instead I dug my other set of work clothes and drove out to meet them. While I was routing around in my car I had a nice conversation about how I'm from Vermont with our sous chef T. I don't actually know what T's real name is because it's just what everyone calls him. I should also start carrying around eyeliner with me because I didn't have a lot of makeup on at work and no one else had any with them before I left for the bar. It happened again Saturday night too when I went out again. Friday was a good night: Yonni did karaoke to Lady Gaga. I also got a chance to meet a couple of his friends. Very nice people, I particularly enjoyed his friend's girlfriend. She had a lovely personality and was incredibly funny. She also introduced Yon to Jerseylicious. He already does his own version of GTL, maybe a little Hebrew with a Jersey accent now.

Saturday I woke up early and drove out to Lancaster to see my mom who was down visiting my grandfather. It was a nice visit. We went out to breakfast at some kitschy country place. The food was good but it had a very religiously oppressed feeling to it, but you get that feeling anyways when you're in Lancaster County. There was a book rack with books for sale to keep waiting guests entertained. My two personal favorites were 52 Lies Heard in Church Every Sunday and The Big Book of Church Jokes.

There were a couple other Amish romance stories but I had to stop to eat. After breakfast we drove out to Palmyra to get Lebanon bologna for my dad. Lance only likes a very specific hard, extra dry bologna that comes in a cloth sack from a small specialty meat store with a German name where he grew up. Every time my mom goes without him she picks up the wrong one and there are only two to choose from. This time we made sure to call Lance before purchasing. She also kept picking things up and offering to buy them for me and my friends. I personally don't care for shoefly pie but if Yonni or Marg do I can give them directions to the place. After Palmyra was Lititz. Lititz is a smaller quainter version of Hershey that always smells of a better tasting chocolate due to the small factory that melts and molds chocolate almost every day of the week. We had lunch at a really charming cafe where the waitresses are dressed up as Victorian newsboys. The food was really really good and I may even drive back to visit again even though I've had more than my fair share of small yuppy towns. After lunch my mom had a strong desire to get her eyebrows waxed so she took me to get my nails done and then we did a little shopping. I've developed an obsession with the Lacie collection from Victoria's Secret and I've been trying to collect something in every color available, except for the ones with glitter. The still look a little tacky for me. I came home afterwards and then went over to Yonni's for more Israeli food.It was a nice time with Yonni, Cynthia! and Harry. Later I did the Cricket circuit with him and his sister. I didn't drink much, but when we left I got really really warm almost to the point that I thought I was going to pass out on his kitchen floor. I don't know what's going on but that's the second time that that's happened to me this summer and I'm starting to think that it's hormones from my birth control. I'm not thrilled if that's the case because the other forms out there don't look very appealing to me unless I've had three kids or want to gain three hundred pounds. I eventually fell asleep though and woke up Sunday feeling well rested and a little paranoid that I was getting sick. Summer colds are no fun.

Work was super slow Sunday morning. I made about fifty bucks for lunch and then got cut. I would have been made but there were absolutely no reservations on the books and with eleven servers on I thought it would be fair to let someone else try and make some money. I'm really excited that we have one of our old bartenders back. He's crazy but he does good bar business. After work I was maybe going to see a  movie but then when my plans got postponed I passed out. I wasn't even aware that I was tired until I laid down and then was completely shocked to wake up around 10:30pm. I only nap like that when I'm sick and my body needs extra rest so I think that I just needed some extra rest time to kick whatever I had going on. I only woke up too because I had a billion texts from my mom, Yonni and Neil. My mom just had to tell me she made it home before she went to bed and Neil wanted me to go to the bar with him and some people from work. If I hadn't already been in bed I would have considered it, but I told him that we would go out tomorrow night and play quizzo and have Ryan serve us kitchen messups. Sasha can come too! Yonni texted to tell me to blog and how he's really into Jerseylicious. I was going to write after that but then when I laid my head down again I didn't wake up until this morning.  I really needed the sleep I guess because I feel completely fine today and ready for running after work and maybe a showing of X-Men. I also need to get contact with Marg and see if she wants to go to Zavah before I head up to Vermont this weekend.

We haven't been dating long enough to have an anniversary.

It is 12:31am on a Wednesday and I feel incredibly beautiful right now. When I look in the mirror right now I see perfect freckles and blue eyes!

Okay on Wednesday I was on crack apparently. Really I had just gotten back from the bar in Narberth where I been out by myself stuffing my face and drinking Holy Moses White Ale. I spent more time eating than drinking, but still creepy old men wanted to talk to me and buy me beer. It was funny too because there were a couple of cougars in the place left over from quizzo night and they were going after him for cigarettes and trying to get him to go outside with them, but he stayed a stool to my right the entire time that I was there. It was kind of annoying at first, but then I just decided to become friendly with the bartender and spent the rest of the night chatting with him about bartending and the Jersey shore. It was also determined that I was responsible for emptying a bottle of bitters over the last couple of weeks. The bartender told me that I was the only one who ever orders it and I don't even drink it with alcohol. I do want to try an Old Fashioned sometime I just don't want to lay down the money if I can help it. That's why I love the Penn Valley so much because the bartender there will let me taste what he's making. Delicious and educational.

Wednesday morning I got up early and drove to the shore. It was a quick visit just a day in the sun and then home at night. I have to remember to pack some heavy duty bug spray when I go back this weekend because the horseflies were biting hard and by late afternoon it was either get in the water, get in the car, or be eaten alive. I did the water thing for a while. The ocean has warmed up considerably, however there had been a storm the night before so everything was still a little churned up and had a slightly fishy smell that got unpleasant after a while. The tide was extremely low all day, which I think was in part because of the storm. I had never seen the beach so flat even during regular low tides. It was nice to be able to walk out so far into the water and still have it be lower than my hip. Late afternoon though I had to get out of there and while I was packing up my car some guy approached me and started talking about the bay and how to get over there to take a picture of the foxes that live around there. I tried to politely shut him up and then I he asked me to go hiking with him, but I told I had other plans and was leaving. Twice this week I've been a magnate for totally creepy guys; I need to start keeping my pepper spray in my car from now on.

Last night I saw Transformers 3 with Neil. We went to the late show in Manayunk which was fun. It was a total date night for us. I wore lipstick and carried a big purse to sneak cheap food in and he bought my ticket. Now I thought that Transformers 2 was good, but OMG this one was amazing, and so funny too. Usually when movies are loaded with several high profile actors it's best not to expect much, but everyone was top notch. I kept whispering to Neil every time we were introduced to someone amazing. Seriously Frances McDormand as the head of NIA and John Malkovich as Sam's crazy boss was phenomenal. I was excited to hear Leonard Nimoy's voice as Sentinel, but it was Ken Jeong who stole the film with his part as a paranoid ex-NASA employee. I had a hard time buying Patrick Dempsey as an evil villain, but that's because I'm so used to him as the steamy Dr. McDreamy. The only one who wasn't outstanding was Rosie, but she's still new to acting. I will say that her hair was phenomenal in every shot, but as the movie progressed even Neil asked why she was still there. It was nice to see that Shia has evolved as an actor, but that he still hasn't lost the comedic from his Even Stevens days. I just wish we had seen more of the Whiwicky parents.

Wish I had a Camaro.

Shane Botwin is back, but Andy is better than ever!

So last night I finally got around to watching True Blood. I found a website that has the first two episodes posted so I spent two glorious hours catching up with the supernatural in Bon Temps. I really really hate when television uses time jumps to keep a series going, but in this case I found it particularly interesting because Sookie wasn't experiencing the time jump at all because of being in an alternate universe for only a few minutes. The show also didn't waste time in trying to have her catch up on all of her lost year. Everything was conveniently explained and then the show moved on. There are a couple of new characters this season to fill the voids of the few that were killed off last season. My new favorite is Janine Gavankar. Gavankar was previously on The Gates last summer and played Shivakamini on The League. In both shows she was excellent and so far her performance in True Blood hasn't disappointed as a shape shifter and love interest for Sam.

While I was online last night I also saw ads for the new season of Weeds. Monday night was the season premier and I can definitely say that it is much different than the sunny Southern California season one where we were first introduced to Nancy. While I don't want to ruin what happened for one of my readers. I will say that Shane has grown into a very interesting character, Nancy is still the same lovable, but sometimes crass and always in trouble, Jennifer Jason Leigh's character is a super huge bitch, and Doug will also be Doug. I think the most touching moment of the episode came from Kevin Nealon's character Doug when he said, "You aren't leaving me behind?" Season 7 of Weeds is shaping up to be excellent.

You know you wish she was your mother too.

In the meantime I have finally started cleaning my apartment. After about three weeks of no clean clothes and tripping over my hockey equipment every time I walk into my apartment I broke down and spent about $50 in cleaning supplies from Target at 10pm. I finally own a good mop and have clean clothing again. I sorted out my utility and linen closets and my bathroom has been sanitized, every last inch. The only thing left is to tackle my kitchen and living room and run a load of towels. I'll finish that tonight after I get home from the bar. Marg has finally come back to me so we're going out to celebrate and play quizzo and eat delicious bar foods. I'm hoping Neil will come too. Tomorrow's Wednesday which means a shore day and I have to give Ryan a call so he knows I'll be around to do something if he's free. Either way I'll be back to this sometime Thursday or Friday and then it will be back to the shore Sunday and Monday. I love holiday weekends!

Sink or swim?

You know you've somehow hit a new low in your life when your mother is sending you some random emails about the dangers of stress eating and weight management. Of course it could be just because we're about to go on vacation and she doesn't want to be embarrassed by how I look in a bathing suit or the fact that I'm living paycheck to paycheck and she's figured that I'm not eat properly. I'm going to say that it's a bit of both, my mother is a complex woman like that.

I've been awake now for a little more than 12 hours. Around 11:00am I was already so exhausted from being practice and getting over being sick that I wanted to kill something. I had to settle with trampling some grass on Claver Lawn. About as satisfying as you would think. Practice was good today, except for the whole ralphing thing, but that didn't hit until near the end so overall not a terribly big deal. Plus Brian was concerned and that's always nice. We actually had a scrimmage and practiced lines and tried to get as close to actual gameplay as possible. The team is going to a tournament in Maryland this weekend and they need to know what they're doing before they go. I can't be with them, I have to serve coffee to Mainliners all weekend. The only lame thing about practice was that Therese brought along some kid who ended up being more of a hindrance than a help. I think she wanted someone to help run drills in case we didn't have most of our coaches this morning.

I think Marg wants to go out tonight. I'll go out with her but I'm getting one ginger ale have a little girl chat and then I'm back to the apartment to write a quick paper. I need to get that and some creative writing done for tomorrow. Slowly I'm falling behind and this weekend is my very last chance to get caught up before it's too late. So either expect very little from me this weekend or a lot because I'll be procrastinating as much as possible. 

Lucky me.

Of all the lame shitty things that are a part of being me, there is one pretty cool thing. I have this knack for things always turning out okay even when they mostly likely won't and in situations where most people would be freaking out, I'm always very chill almost to the point where I don't care about the consequences of what has happened to me. For example, take last night. Last night I got very drunk and lost part of my keys while I was at a bar. When it was time for me to leave I couldn't find what I was looking for in my jacket or in my car. I drunkenly fumbled around where I had been sitting in the bar trying to find my keys. My friend, who was much more sober than me, kind of helped me and handled me like I was some sort of time bomb about to explode from worry about not finding my keys. He tried to rationalize that as long as I had my car locked and the keys to my apartment that I would be okay and that I would still be able to get inside my building because people are always going in and out and that my car was safe where it was and that I would still be able to drive home in the morning. Of course I would be able to do these things. I'm Lance's kid. I've been able to do things for myself longer than most adults. And it is because of this that I knew that I was not going to freak out or explode from worry about a missing key. It's not the end of the world for me and I told my friend so. He was cool about it and backed off. He dropped me off at my building and I was able to squeeze in through the doors and get into my apartment just fine. The next morning I took a bus out to where my car was parked and low and behold, my key was in the snow beside my car. It must have fallen out when I was smoking cloves. The point is I always somehow know that things like that are going to work out for me and that all is not lost. I don't get frustrated or freaked out the way most people would, unless I am super tired. I did it once and it was stupid.

I'm in the library right now doing homework and it's not as warm as it usually is on the upper floors. In fact it is rather cold and uncomfortable and if I didn't have to write a paper for tomorrow I would have left and gone back home a long time ago. I also have a strong desire for some inappropriate things right now, but I need to get work done so I'm ignoring them. Dinner plans later maybe, I'm not sure what I want to do.

Thanks for the ride last night, I appreciate it.

And Mom, this is a good thing. It means you can worry less about me.