Definitely not your grandmother's fellatio.

"I think all of us would rather have oral sex than throat cancer."

Yes, Mike I think we would. Especially early in the morning. Today in Journalism we discussed a photo that appeared on the cover of a Florida college newspaper of a guy performing cunnilingus on a scantily dressed woman. The photo caused a stir of controversy about whether or not it was relevant to the story of people possibly developing throat cancer after having oral sex with people who are infected with HPV. It sparked quite the debate in class about the boundaries in journalism and whether or not the story could have been sold without the photo. Now personally I think that the story was relevant to college students and I wouldn't have needed the photo to pick the paper up and read, but I don't see any reason that the newspaper should have been penalized for it. In fact I like the photo. Not for journalistic reasons, but because of the taboo subject matter given and the roles that were assigned to the man and woman. It's not you typical oral sex scene, well it is for most people but not the kind that gets printed often. It is rare that women get shown in a position of power in a sex scene. Very often its the woman performing the act on a man and the scene is very lewd and crude. I appreciated the photo chosen by the newspaper and the clean and powerful image that they produced. Oral sex, especially cunnilingus is still the naughty no-no for many  (silly) people and it was nice to see college students who have moved past a back of the bus lipstick game.

Remember to get yourself checked.

Outside of journalism, but still in the realm of writing, I have decided to make my fiction piece more pulpy and exaggerated. I got a lot of surprising feedback from my classmates. They loved the story and they want me to push the limits with it. I think tonight when I get back I'm going to revise another draft so I have a hard copy to give to My Hebrew Friend to go over for me. I think I'll just print him out a copy this time and let him write all over it. I found it most helpful when people wrote on their so I knew exactly where to go back and make changes with it. 

Not tired, not good.

So I finished season six of Weeds, got my homework done, made dinner, watched miscellaneous episodes of television that I need to catch up on and am now watching the latest episode of Californication. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I love Showtime. I also love that I'm going to Key West on spring break and when I come home Nurse Jackie will be starting a week or two later.

Key West, I can't wait. It's been a while since I've been all warm inside and out and I am willing to trade my mother's drippy and nostalgic stories about my parent's time in the Conch Republic for that feeling again. I'm even thinking about getting a real bathing suit this time, body image be damned. It's time for me to get tan again like when I was twelve and live in the sun for a summer. I've also been working out and so I figure I can ride the endorphins for a while and won't even notice if I look like a fat ass next to Samantha. I just want to be tan again and not look like Snow White's sickly sister in bed. Either that or I need to go back to having sex with really pale guys.

I did something stupid today. I got bored in theology (I know! Hot viking is boring! Who knew?!) and suffered from a little word vomit, or really texting vomit. Sorry about that, you know who you are if you still read this blog. Ignore it, it's over, I seem to right a lot of open apologies to you but whatever, let's talk about Weeds tomorrow instead of me.

This is nuts I should be asleep right now since I have to get up in five hours but I can't seem to get to sleep. I've been taking something for sleep, but I didn't do it tonight because I knew I would be able to get the required hours of sleep that the dosage requires. I do love those pills. My mother would say I'm on the fast track to addiction, I say that's the detriment of the gene pool she married into. 

Hahaha I'm so funny.

So this one time at band camp... haha no really this joke never gets old to me. So this one time I had a guy over and I had a weak moment and begged him to stay the night. He successfully got away but before he left he asked me why I wanted him to stay. I actually had to pause and think. He's not like some of the other guys that I see and so I couldn't pitch him the usual lines and instead blurted out that I liked having him around. It's true I do, but I didn't want to say it like that. I was supposed to say something smart or even make an actual sentence. Instead my super sleepy head took over and my mouth made mush. I wanted him to stay because when he does he makes everything warm and comfortable and even when he's half pushed me off the bed or is actually able to stay asleep during the night I still like the presence he brings to the bed. I just wish he were someone who liked to read together or write simultaneously or just listen to music together while I rub his head. Man I wished he liked the same music as me. He does like some of the same stuff which is cool, but most people don't like the music that I like so I'm always a little nervous playing stuff around him. I just wish that I had more time to actually see him outside of work, that way I wouldn't always be smelling like coffee or wearing black and we wouldn't be half asleep. But I'll take it the way it is for now because I'd rather forego the fantastic sex if it means being super awesome friends for a longer time just like that really really crappy movie with Michelle Monaghan and Patrick Dempsey. Shit I suck at conveying personal feelings outside of my head. 

AWAKE, AWAKE, AWAKE!!!

Oh holy sweet bananas I can't get to sleep! And I've tried everything I can think of. I even texted My Hebrew Friend to see if he could come up with anything and he definitely tried his best. His suggestions were all over the place ranging from reading, writing, tea and sex. I don't own any boring books. Everything I read I like and would have just stayed up to finish the book no matter how late it got, defeating the purpose of trying to go to sleep. Tea, I tried. It sort of work, but the sleepies sort of fizzled out and I'm back to being wide awake. Sex. Well sex is out of the question. Whenever I have sex I am always left wide awake and I want to punch my partner in the face five minutes after we are done because he is sound asleep and I am nowhere near it. The only time I ever got a guy to go as long as I wanted was when we were both completely stoned and I nagged him into almost sobriety. I've been living like a repressed nun lately and I'm ready to burst but I told Yonni I would let him know when I wanted to have sex with him and I haven't yet. Yonni this isn't me saying I want to have sex yet, I'll let you know when. So that leaves me with writing, which is what I am doing now. It's not really working, but since My Hebrew Friend needs to be alseep right now even if he isn't, so I can't leave call him. I think I'm just anxious about the snow that we're supposed to get. I don't have any homework due for my class tomorrow and I don't have to go into Borders or other work so I really don't have anything to worry about. Wednesday I think I'm going to beg My Hebrew Friend to come watch The Princess Bride with me. I may even bribe him with butter pecan ice cream since he doesn't like chocolate. Who doesn't like chocolate ice cream? Gosh! And who only watched The Princess Bride only once? Double gosh!!

Have fun storming the castle!

Silly People, Barbies are for Sex!

Don't blog late at night, you might end up writing ridiculous open letters and come off like a total asshole. And believe me, I am excellent at making an ass of myself, just ask my father. Or my mother. A little while back when I was visiting my parents in Vermont we were out drinking at the Matterhorn and I blurted out that I needed some marijuana right then and there. Of course it was anything subtle, I started my saying that I wanted some pot and when my parents couldn't hear me I said I needed some marijuana, only it was a little louder and I sounded out the syllables, mar-i-ju-ana. My mother thinks I'm insane and a budding alcoholic. In my defense I had had two and a half mai tais made by Jesse, which means they were 80% pure rum with a cherry on top and they were served in pint glasses.


Today at work I was working with Betty Page and I closed with The Ballerina. Both are exceptional coworkers even if one works a tad harder than the other. I usually don't get a chance to work with Betty Page but now that I have different hours I see her more often. Betty Page is incredibly funny and has a dark sense of humor. I love her back of the throat laugh. The Ballerina and I have been closing together since I started working in the cafe. She and I have developed a finely honed rhythm to shutting down and can do it  in twenty minutes or less, except when we are working with M. Like tonight. Tonight The Ballerina had a copy of Marie Claire magazine and was reading weird stories about peoples' sexual experiences out loud to us and we spent good portion laughing at how ridiculous people can be. Seriously who is so desperate to experience sex that they tear their own hymen by sticking their Barbie doll's legs up their vagina? Gadzooks! Closing with M is also a good thing because I am certainly guaranteed to be home by 10:45pm. No work until next Thursday!

Also Cute Asian Boy was in again.