Last time I had Indian it gave me the shits for a week.

Greets from Vermont, the Green Mountain State, the home of Cabot Cheddar, maple syrup (not from Canada Cynthia!, and cows galore. I've been here a few days already and I already miss home. As much as I hate the city I miss my friends and my apartment and work. When I'm there I miss my family, but when I'm here I feel like a puzzle piece that's in the wrong box. I don't really have a place here anymore and each time I come back I feel more and more like a tourist with a floppy straw hat, Hawaiian shirt, and giant film Nikon. Mind you I have actually never seen anyone dressed like this. It's just that every time that I'm here there's new changes and I feel a deeper and deeper disconnect with this place. I really need to find a place. So while I'm here I'm making the best of it and enjoying the little time left that I have to spend time in this town.

It's a cow pen at I.C. Scoops. If you push down on the head it lights up and moos.

When I arrived on Sunday we went out on the boat and this is where we go. 

Every year the library has a book sale with books that people have donated. I bought about fifty for $10 and then tried to bribe the volunteer to let me into the basement where the rest of the stock was kept. He didn't go for it. 

I have yoga tomorrow with my mom and then I'm spending the rest of the day searching for things that I need to bring home for some friends. I found Cynthia! something and Neil something and I have some things in mind for a couple of other friends that I have to track down and I did have something in mind for my Hebrew Friend, but I don't know. He's hard to pick something out for, my mom's the same way, I can never get anything good enough for her. I can' help it though I love picking out gifts and giving them to my friends even if they're just small and silly. I'm a at birthdays just ask Marg, even when I have no money I will make something or find what I can I love it. 

My writing is all over the place in this post, haha. It usually is with me. Today probably wasn't the best day to write because of all the stuff I'm going through. Right now I'm in a glass case of emotion and I'm starting to crack under the pressure. You'd think hey vacation I should be fine and chillaxed, but I'm drowning in some school stuff and some work stuff and I still feel guilty about something that I didn't do but still think I had a hand in it. And then I made an ass out of myself recently (what a surprise) and I'm trying to get over it and I'm failing miserably. Ugh I shouldn't post, but I'm finding blogging o be somewhat therapeutic. Writing is a weird and sensitive subject with me. I was always good a it in school especially for each grade I was in at the time and my mother always praised me for it, which made me resent writing and I hated it. Only recently have I gotten back into it, but there are still people telling me where to take it. I hate when people tell me what kind of writer I should be, it's like when people call me Sid. Call me that and I hate you forever. I feel better now. I have one more day here and then I can go home and just focus on being there and start preparing to wrap things up. 

I am the Fun Patrol! Now go play Wii.

This is the last post before Vermont. I'm not sure if I feel like writing there because the internet is shoddy and my stomach hurts too much right now to care about anything else other than this post. I don't know what's going on with my stomach other than maybe I shouldn't have eaten any of the family dinner. I don't know why people eat at work, the stuff is pure poison. I was fine at work other than sweating to death through both shirts. It wasn't until I got home and laid down for a bit that my stomach erupted. Ick. It's frustrating because I'd like to be able to get a little bit of sleep before I have to get up and drive. The closest I could get to a back rub is positioning my bed so that the air blows on my back, but every now and then my feet get too cold. The good news in all of this is that my ear no longer hurts even though I still have to lie quietly on my side while I put the drops in my ear. 

I have a strong desire to watch The Proposal right now. I was talking about it with a friend at the bar last night. Apparently he likes it and last night I had a strong desire to watch it when I got home, but then I didn't so now I want to watch it now. There's a strong possibility that after I finish this I may watch it. I've been watching a lot of SVU lately so I could go for an upbeat change. I could also go for a change of nail polish. I had my nails done last weekend and they looked really good for a few days, but work has gotten to them. I think I'd like to do the OPI axxium gels that I've been hearing about. A friend's girlfriend was telling me some of her nail horror stories last night and I'm terrified of anything other than UV cured shellac on my nails. Absolutely no tips for me. 

Rufio! Rufio! Rufio!

I'm feeling a bit like a Lost Boy lately. Everyone is starting to find their place lately and I'm still looking. Yonni has Israel, Marg has Baltimore, Anna has Philadelphia and I'm still hoping Peter Pan will fly through my window and take me second star to the right and straight on till morning. I have a few months before I have to figure out a plan or even an inkling of a plan and right now I have nothing. Ideas fly through my head all of the time and I keep getting told that I am resilient enough to make it most places, though Yonni does like to tease me and say that I will end up with my parents in Vermont in May. I just kind of sucks to have friends that are so sure about what they are doing. Yonni is going to be a writer, Karrie a nurse and I'm Voyager 2 floating through deep space just waiting to be crushed by another body or until I break down and stop transmitting back to Earth.

My Everyday Discoveries: Finally Found My Passion

My Everyday Discoveries: Finally Found My Passion: "Do you ever have a number of things that you have to accomplish-none of them super pressing-but you don't know where to begin? That's the b..."

This is my friend's blog. He has some good insights for the Lost Boys.

You want me to be excited Ryan? Buy me a new bong.

If you haven't seen the US version of Wilfred, watch it immediately. It's based off of an Australian television show and the guy that plays Wilfred is the same from the original so there a nice authenticity to the show. Wilfred stars Elijah Wood how plays a sort of uptight neurotic guy who has lost direction in his life. his new next door neighbor has a mischievous dog named Wilfred that Elijah Wood's character sees as a crass and sarcastic man dressed in a dog suit with a black painted nose. Wilfred acts as the bad conscience of Ryan and encourages him to do the things he really wants while playing pranks on him at the same time. Very often you see Wilfred and Ryan taking bong hits and discussing the lameness of Ryan's life and then Wilfred comes up with an outrageous plan to make Ryan more exciting. Each episode is named after an emotion that is also the theme of the episode. It is possibly my new favorite series to come from FX after Always Sunny and Archer of course. No one can best Jessica Walters.

I heard the song If I Die Young twice this morning and it's starting to get annoying to me. However the song reminds me of Anne of Green Gables when she tries to reenact the Lady of Shallot which is my favorite because Gilbert comes to her rescue after her boat sinks and she gets so mad at him for doing it. That always makes me happy because I love Gilbert and think that he and Anne are one of the best true love stories ever written. One of my friends told me that despite my romantic disdain that I really just want to be loved and it's true I really do. Deep down I am a ridiculous romantic, but I want someone who is on equal terms with me and will stand up to me when I try to be all bossy. But anyways back to the annoying song. I'm going to be honest, it's a miracle that I haven't been killed yet or seriously injured. I've worked hard suppress the recklessness in me but every now and then it gets out, so there is a strong possibility that I may die young. If that is the case do not bury me in satin, lay me down in a bed of roses, or sink me in the river at dawn. Do not have a funeral. Cremate me, climb a mountain and scatter me into the wind. Just be sure not to throw me against the wind and get coated in my ashes.

After brunch this morning I went into the office for two hours. Nothing was happening so I was sent home and now I've watching my latest arrival from Netflix, The Darjeeling Limited. Sometimes I wish my life was like a Wes Anderson movie. You know all quirky and Bill Murrayish. I like this movie, it makes me wish I was on a train in India heading to see my nun mother in the foothills of the Himalayas.

"I love you too, but I'm going to mace you in the face!"

It's where I keep all my things. Get a lot of compliments on this. Plus it's not a man purse. It's called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.

What a Thursday. Actually not really anything special, just a lot for a regular Thursday and I still have a ton more to do. It started off with me waking up at the crack of dawn cradling my computer like it was my own child that I was trying to smother to death. It's true I have become addicted to my computer and not the internet, my computer itself. You see it keeps me warm when the air conditioning makes me too cold. And you're going to tell me that the smart logical thing would be to turn the air conditioner off when it gets too cold, but I will tell you that there are two key reasons why I won't follow your silly logic. 1: I usually fall asleep before I get too cold to want to turn it off and 2: I sweat a lot. And by a lot I mean A LOT. I drip buckets just doing laundry, it's a gene deformity I picked up on my mother's side of the family. It's true we all turn bright red and sweat just walking across the street. But anyways, sleeping without the air on results in me waking up with a head full of sweat and damp dirty hair that was freshly cleaned and dried before I went to sleep. So that is why I woke up with a death grip on my computer this morning. After waking up I realized that I had frozen the neufchatel instead of putting it in the fridge and anyone who's ever frozen cream cheese knows that it really can't be unfrozen so I settled for Greek yogurt and frozen blueberries instead of the bagel, a better choice in the end I think. Afterwards I rushed a quick shower and headed to Rio for a wax appointment. While there are some advantages to a morning wax, I don't think I'm going to do it again because I spent the rest of my work day with my skirt sticking to me every time I sat down. It was incredibly uncomfortable and terribly embarrassing all at the same time, but easily ignored because of the searing pain in my ear. I am the proud and miffed owner of an outer ear infection. I haven't had swimmer's ear in about ten years, so I was a little shocked when the school nurse said I had swimmer's ear. I was even more shocked when my pharmacist told me that I had to pay full price for some ear drops. I told him I would rather sit through an ear infection than pay $130 for ten milliliters of hydrocortisone. The cute pharmacist came to my rescue and called the nurse to see if there was a less expensive option for me. There was and I bought it. I had to spend the first hour of work with my head tilted to the side with a piece of paper towel. I was the joke of the office for a good hour. After work I had to stop at Target and pick up a brand new bundle of toilet paper. I recently flooded my bathroom and even though the toilet paper didn't get very wet the room isn't ventilated so the humidity in the closet killed 17 rolls and I had to pick some new stuff up. Grrr sometimes I hate indoor weather.

So now I'm home and have to do a bunch of journal entries before my on-line class chat about a book I'm now reading for the third time since coming to college. I'm so mad that I wanted to protest but I had to skip the first chat because it interfered with another class. But then after my what is going to be a lack luster class chat I'm having girl's night with Cynthia! Cynthia! is possible the coolest girl I've met so far in Philadelphia, this Ramona Flowers crossed with Tank Girl and a little Kat Dennings thrown in, but without the blow job lips. I haven't seen her since she peaced out on us last weekend and since I'm leaving for Vermont for a week I want to get some friend time in before I spend my weekend serving Main Liners overpriced cheap Italian food all night long.

I made him, I can break him.

God I watch weird television shows with weird dialogue. That's usually where I get my blog titles from. In fact absolutely nothing in the title relates to the content of my blog post, most of the time. So now you all know what's going on up above, though for the life of me I can't remember where this one comes from, probably an ABC Family show or Glenn Martin, DDS. BTWs if you like Kevin Nealon, watch Glenn Martin.

So good news: I don't have work tomorrow. I always have Wednesdays off and usually I go to the beach but I have so much to do before I go up to Vermont. On of my friends had expressed interest in going but then they changed their minds and I'm actually a little grateful that they changed their minds because I would have gone even though I didn't really want to. I'm retarded like that, I do things for my friends sometimes when I don't want to because I feel obligated to as a friend and usually I don't mind because I love my friends, but sometimes I have to think about me.

So bad news: I got into a bit of a fight with a friend tonight. It was really more of a tiff, but I didn't listen to my friend and I think I made him feel a little bit embarrassed and uncomfortable. I feel really bad about that. We were at a bar with another one of my friends and I wouldn't let go of something so he left.  My other friend totally called me out on it later, but then he got tipsy on his beer challenge and forgot about it, but I still feel bad. Sometimes I pick up on things, even things that I don't really care about or make a big deal about, and don't let them go. Even if there is absolutely no point to my argument I still feel like I have to win. I get like that with the people I feel really comfortable around, it's a weird quality about me.

So good news: I bought an amazing strapless push up bra last weekend and I am in LOVE with it. I used to hate strapless because they aren't as supportive as I like on my chest, but I got one from Victoria's Secret a few months ago and I wear it almost all of the time. Last weekend I found a similar one in black with a bit of padding to create plunge and it is perfect. It supports everything and I fill it out. It also helps that I got measured and realized I needed a bigger cup size for that collection. Sometimes I'm worried that when I get pregnant I'm going to have huge chest and will have to hire two men to carry each one around for me. I have several years to contemplate that plan though. I will say that I am in love with this new bra. I was never a fan of any sort of push up because of the false illusion that it creates, but fuck it, this bra is awesome.

I love coming home late form the bar. I get super tired, but am just awake enough to get home and get into bed and fall into a deep sleep. I love having a nice time out with friends and trying new beers with Neil from his beer challenge. I'm a little bummed with my second beer tonight because I couldn't finish it. It got to be too sticky and sweet by the end, but I did love Neil's beer with the piggies on the can. Not so much the beer, a little hoppy, but the dancing pigs on an orange can were cute and fun. 

Martin feels pregnant.

Crazy weekend. I'm not even sure how I managed to fit everything in that I did or that I even made it to Monday, but it happened and now it's Monday. After Thursday's adventures in eating which led to a very slow Friday morning breakfast at Yonni's with Cynthia! It was Israeli themed, very delightful assortment of foods especially the vegetable salad. Anyways after work I had double work and then went out. My night was extremely slow and I only pulled about $60 and was going to go home when Yonni asked if I wanted to go out with him and some of his friends. He caught me at just the right moment going out the door because I was all set to go home and take a shower and just go to bed, but instead I dug my other set of work clothes and drove out to meet them. While I was routing around in my car I had a nice conversation about how I'm from Vermont with our sous chef T. I don't actually know what T's real name is because it's just what everyone calls him. I should also start carrying around eyeliner with me because I didn't have a lot of makeup on at work and no one else had any with them before I left for the bar. It happened again Saturday night too when I went out again. Friday was a good night: Yonni did karaoke to Lady Gaga. I also got a chance to meet a couple of his friends. Very nice people, I particularly enjoyed his friend's girlfriend. She had a lovely personality and was incredibly funny. She also introduced Yon to Jerseylicious. He already does his own version of GTL, maybe a little Hebrew with a Jersey accent now.

Saturday I woke up early and drove out to Lancaster to see my mom who was down visiting my grandfather. It was a nice visit. We went out to breakfast at some kitschy country place. The food was good but it had a very religiously oppressed feeling to it, but you get that feeling anyways when you're in Lancaster County. There was a book rack with books for sale to keep waiting guests entertained. My two personal favorites were 52 Lies Heard in Church Every Sunday and The Big Book of Church Jokes.

There were a couple other Amish romance stories but I had to stop to eat. After breakfast we drove out to Palmyra to get Lebanon bologna for my dad. Lance only likes a very specific hard, extra dry bologna that comes in a cloth sack from a small specialty meat store with a German name where he grew up. Every time my mom goes without him she picks up the wrong one and there are only two to choose from. This time we made sure to call Lance before purchasing. She also kept picking things up and offering to buy them for me and my friends. I personally don't care for shoefly pie but if Yonni or Marg do I can give them directions to the place. After Palmyra was Lititz. Lititz is a smaller quainter version of Hershey that always smells of a better tasting chocolate due to the small factory that melts and molds chocolate almost every day of the week. We had lunch at a really charming cafe where the waitresses are dressed up as Victorian newsboys. The food was really really good and I may even drive back to visit again even though I've had more than my fair share of small yuppy towns. After lunch my mom had a strong desire to get her eyebrows waxed so she took me to get my nails done and then we did a little shopping. I've developed an obsession with the Lacie collection from Victoria's Secret and I've been trying to collect something in every color available, except for the ones with glitter. The still look a little tacky for me. I came home afterwards and then went over to Yonni's for more Israeli food.It was a nice time with Yonni, Cynthia! and Harry. Later I did the Cricket circuit with him and his sister. I didn't drink much, but when we left I got really really warm almost to the point that I thought I was going to pass out on his kitchen floor. I don't know what's going on but that's the second time that that's happened to me this summer and I'm starting to think that it's hormones from my birth control. I'm not thrilled if that's the case because the other forms out there don't look very appealing to me unless I've had three kids or want to gain three hundred pounds. I eventually fell asleep though and woke up Sunday feeling well rested and a little paranoid that I was getting sick. Summer colds are no fun.

Work was super slow Sunday morning. I made about fifty bucks for lunch and then got cut. I would have been made but there were absolutely no reservations on the books and with eleven servers on I thought it would be fair to let someone else try and make some money. I'm really excited that we have one of our old bartenders back. He's crazy but he does good bar business. After work I was maybe going to see a  movie but then when my plans got postponed I passed out. I wasn't even aware that I was tired until I laid down and then was completely shocked to wake up around 10:30pm. I only nap like that when I'm sick and my body needs extra rest so I think that I just needed some extra rest time to kick whatever I had going on. I only woke up too because I had a billion texts from my mom, Yonni and Neil. My mom just had to tell me she made it home before she went to bed and Neil wanted me to go to the bar with him and some people from work. If I hadn't already been in bed I would have considered it, but I told him that we would go out tomorrow night and play quizzo and have Ryan serve us kitchen messups. Sasha can come too! Yonni texted to tell me to blog and how he's really into Jerseylicious. I was going to write after that but then when I laid my head down again I didn't wake up until this morning.  I really needed the sleep I guess because I feel completely fine today and ready for running after work and maybe a showing of X-Men. I also need to get contact with Marg and see if she wants to go to Zavah before I head up to Vermont this weekend.