Yellow model chick, yellow bottle sippin', yellow Lamborghini, yellow top missin'.

One day I will be able to have a nine to five job, today is not that day. Someday I will also only have to have one job to comfortably survive and today is also not that day. Soon hopefully (next five years maybe). I covered for someone at my server job last night and I completely forgot that she had the closing shift when I agreed to do it, and it was around 7pm when I realized that all of the people that I was working with had been there since the early afternoon and that I was going to be the one that would be closing tonight. I did have help last night though. I had to train one of the trainees in the closing procedures which was a terrible idea on my manager's part because I myself have only closed two or three times and we were working with skeleton crew and the Ecolab guy was coming into super clean the place. Everything was kind of mixed up and rushed because we had to get out of there and people had to do multiple tasks. I'm not going to lie, it kind of made me miss the closing shift at Borders. I was actually pleased with last night though because I ended up making double what I made on Friday, plus I didn't have to tip out as much as usual, plus I didn't have nearly as many tables to work with. I will say that I do think it's harder to work when it's slower because I get distracted easily and miss stuff. When it's busy I have to be on my game and not miss a beat and still go 100 mph.I developed this intense work ethic from my Dad to always have a sense of urgency and it comes out even more in the kitchen, which is our element so when I'm at work I can look pretty intense.

Last night was also very odd in that sense when you have been thinking about something and then for some reason, completely unintentionally or out of your control, they happen. Last night an old boyfriend of mine texted me at work. I hadn't spoken to him in a very long time and then out of the blue he started talking to me last night. It was light conversation about his graduating and living back at home (no surprise there) and how he occasionally sees my mother. It was fine, something to do while I stood around at work, but I really thought it was funny because tonight I have a pseudo-date with a guy who is almost exactly like him. It's really creepy that I've met someone almost exactly like him. Don't get me wrong the guy I'm going to see is very nice and pleasant looking, but the fact that he could potentially be exactly like an old boyfriend of mine makes me want to vomit just a tiny bit. I really am trying to go into this with an open mind and not let any pre-judgments mess this up, but I am going to take this unbearably slow to the point where if he is like the person I think he might be like I'm just not going to bother and hope that he gets bored with me. No maybe not, I'll be polite and honest and just tell him I'm not interested. He's already planning a million dates in the future and he keeps texting me about them which is already a huge turnoff and I am really struggling right now not to call him and just cancel, ugh.

I am going to use tonight to work on my speaking skills. It's this ridiculous thing about me where I can't speak unless spoken to first and even then I'm a terrible conversationalist, but I have recently discovered that this is only in social settings for me. At work I can talk my table up no problem at all. I can approach large and small groups of people that I have never even met and talk to them about just about anything to the point where they love me and will order anything off of the menu that I tell them to, but when it comes to being out at a party I tank miserably. I'm going to start practicing tonight with the guy who sits next to me in class. He always comes to class in a suit and I'm curious about what kind of job he does because I feel like he is way to young to be having a suit job. Maybe he won't be exactly like my ex-boyfriend.

Hernandez Auto Tags

I was driving down City Ave and the car in front of me had one of those decorative license plate tags that read something like "God is faithful." Now usually we see shit everywhere that tells us to be faithful to God or burn in Hell or that it is out job to be devoted to God or He will rain judgement down on us and again we will all burn in Hell. Just yesterday was supposed to be the Rapture where the select few who love Jesus rise to Heaven while the rest of us are left to try and survive seven years of the Apocalypse. The guy who predicted it didn't even get that part right. He said we would only have until September, which is not seven years or even seven months. I read an article about how this man's employees don't even believe that the end of the world is coming to an end anytime soon because they all planned to show up at work on Monday. There was one girl at work who had started to believe the bus ads and train station signs about the  end of the world and I had to spend the week convincing her that she would be okay. In return she questioned us all about whether or not we believed in Jesus. To appease her I said yes, but to be honest I've never felt a very strong attachment to Jesus or the New Testament. I do believe in God, but I don't know if I really care about Jesus. I've always been more interested in the Old Testament and the origin of monotheism. The Old Testament also has the best stories, except for the one about John the Baptist getting his head cut off. I don't think it was always like this for me. I think it was somewhere in high school where I started to gravitate towards the older stories because  I remember turning down a pocket sized version of the New Testament and asking for an Old one instead and my Mom's friend said that they don't make those and that the New one is more important. I felt immediately dislike for the New Testament and also started questioning what sort of religion I was involved in. I started taking big steps back and now I'm just sort of wandering around without any sort of faith. At school I took classes about the Old Testament and how it's more than just a religious collection of books, but a written account of history and the origins of a people and a language, and an account of the area. The one thing that I do love is the rigor and precise rituals of a mass. Other Christian religions are too loose in terms of ritual practice, but they also don't have as many problems that the Catholics face. I don't think that I can really switch to one of them anyways because I don't exactly believe in Jesus. So for now I'm just floating around figuring things out.

My mother will probably cry after reading this.

She looks like someone who gives ear drops to old cats.

This morning I went and had brunch at Yonni's house with Cynthia and as a nice surprise Kyle came over and joined us. For a really long while Kyle was just Yonni's super best man friend that we would hear about at Borders and then a couple of weeks ago Cynthia and I got to hang out with him and ever since we love Kyle. It's not quite Yonni-status love, but it's getting there, though his negativity towards (500) Days of Summer and comic book movies lost him half a point. Apparently Yonni has never cooked French toast before, because he called me yesterday to ask what kind of bread to use and he even looked up a recipe online. I told him to make sure that the bread slices were thick enough that they wouldn't get too soggy and fall apart in the batter and he definitely took my words to heart because when I showed up the French toast was almost three inches thick. Kyle kept referring to it as Texas sized, they were that big. I brought over some maple syrup that I brought back from Vermont and that opened up a whole discussion on sugaring. My friends found the whole process fascinating and the fact that it takes 40 gallons of sap to produce one gallon of syrup. I need to take them up to Vermont in March when the sap runs and take them to Trapp Family Lodge sugaring house. I really prefer the Coty's house in Nebraska Valley, but at Trapp's you get to ski or snow shoe in, have sugar on snow while you watch the process and then after there are dill pickles and cider donuts. It's a really fun time that is a better experience than what it sounds like on the page.

It's been a slow day at work and sitting in my office chair makes me want to take a nap especially now that it is dark and raining out. I'm hoping that the rain slows before I leave here because I don't want to have to trudge through the rain and then sit in class all night all damp and uncomfortable. I really want to go for a run between work and class, but I've go to finish the readings and our first trial paper. My professor said that she isn't counting this first paper as a grade, but since I have no idea who to do the format that she wants I need to do and then have her pick it apart for me so that I know what she's is looking for for next week. This class is terrible. Usually my summer classes are fun and don't take the teacher a full three hours to teach a lesson. This professor is boring and loves to take up all of the time that she can even if she's not talking about anything class related. It's only six weeks, but  now I can't go to the Matt and Kim concert and I've had to sell my ticket on stubhub. Really really not happy about that.

I'm thinking I might go running after class. It will most likely be an inside run, but that means I can work on my pace today. I also want to get to bed early tonight or at least be inside earlyish tonight so that I remember to wake up in time for breakfast at work tomorrow. That's the only plus about the office on Friday's - graduate food. I'm also going out after work. I don't care if I'm super hungover Saturday morning, I just have to sit in a chair and I get to wear jeans. I asked Merrie what she's up to, but for someone who has been waiting three years to finally go out, she most often sits at home so it will probably be Anna who comes with me and it will most likely be late which means little sleep for Sidney so by the time Saturday night roles around there is a good chance that I will be passed out on Yonni's porch and Kyle will draw marker pictures on my face. Yonni intervene to God that I make money this weekend and make sure you eat that fruit. It will boost your immune system so that you don't have to take the cough medicine that your mummy probably hid from you. Also Cynthia, let's go dancing next week.

Our sperm counts are higher, even in our women.

I got another writing request. It's kind of like getting a notice from the library about an overdue book. This time it was actual fun and creatively written and you can see it in the comment section in the post before this one. I also updated My Tumblr today too. It had been a good month or two since I was even on the dashboard. I noticed that a lot of people that I follow hadn't updated either and that I now have 25 followers. The last time I checked I only had 6 and of course none of them are my sister whom I do follow and even plugged a link to her blog on my tumblr. Thanks a lot bitch. Of course now you kind of have an idea about our relationship and can see why we may not be actively following each other.

I've been busy lately. Nothing important just a billion menial things that had to get done around the apartment and at works and school. I've been trying to clean out the apartment and do a little redecorating. I bought some gauzy curtains for my bedroom and I'm liking them more and more. They have a very nice light and romantic feel to them. They aren't heavy and awkward looking like the other ones that I had up before. I also put up a shelving unit in my kitchen that I'm also liking more and more. It's a lot of vertical space, maybe more than I need because I'm still trying to fill it all, but it's given me use of my kitchen table again and to celebrate I pulled out my tablecloth that I've been keeping in my closet for the past year. Now that I have less then a year left of living here I may clean it out and start inviting more people over, especially since I've gotten the Wii and the very nice Netflix channel. To date only eight people have been inside my apartment not including my family members. Now that it's summer and the pool is opening soon and I can have guests over I'm going to invite more people over to the apartment. I also want to go out more this summer. I want to go dancing and drinking with Anna and meet boys and makeout all over the place. I miss kissing boys, I haven't done it in ages.

I'm so glad it's summer for more than just the pool. I've been losing weight recently as a part of my challenge to get fitter. It hasn't been a substantial amount just yet, but enough that my cousin Dan said that my waist has become more defined and when I was trying on clothes at J. Crew all of my usual sizes were too big. I felt really good after that. I have a way to go yet, I want to get to the point where the people I see everyday start to notice that I'm smaller in size and look better. I've been going through an ugly duckling phase since my senior year of high school and it's only recently that I've really been willing to push myself to get out of it. I think its the combination of Yonni and Dre working out a lot and the fact that I haven't been on a date in a year. I'm tired of where I am right now and I'm willing to make the changes that I need to do to get out of this rut. I want a boyfriend again and I'm not going to meet anyone by sitting around being a fat lump. Of course this also means new clothes and new makeup and with the income that I have this summer, it's been easier to buy clothing and shoes. I'm almost done with my start of summer purchases. I've bought several pairs of shoes and clothes this past week and all that's left is underwear. Love love love underwear shopping. I just really like lacey things. I also want Yonni to come shipping with me sometime, not necessarily for underwear though I'm sure he as valid thoughts, but for clothes in general. I'm way too comfortable in my ways and I need someone to push me to try new things on. I can't bring a girl because they secretly sabotage each other even if its unknowingly so I have to bring Yonni and get his honest man thoughts.

I also need to get up to Vermont, but not until it's dry and warm up there. I have a July trip tentatively scheduled and My Hebrew Friend has tentatively agreed to drive with me. I need someone to drive through New York. 87 late at night is so boring especially when its 2am and I've been driving by myself for five hours. I can get us to New York and through Vermont, but I need someone to do New York otherwise I will crash and die and there will be no more sushi and mai tais at the Matterhorn for Sidney. That's really what I miss, the Matterhorn and boating on the reservoir. July's is the perfect time for that because everything is finally dried out and it's warm outside to the point where it's almost hot and the garden looks really pretty. The blueberry bushes won't be ready, but that's what a trip in August is for. 

But I set fire to the rain, watched it pour as I touched your face.

I'm writing this morning because this is the only chance I'm going to have for a while. I gave My Hebrew Friend a hard time for not writing in a while and I don't want to be the hypocritical bitch for giving him a hard time and then not writing myself. I'm at work right now. We're in between the procession and the reception. I'm so grateful I didn't have to sit around for the ceremony in this cold weather. Instead we came back to the office suite and set everything up for the reception. I really really am starting to dislike balloons. Balloons are just a pain and flowers should always be used instead. Next year we are decorating with flowers, my official decision, I'm putting my foot down. Of course I won't be here for graduation next because because I'll be at my own, but who cares they will appreciate not having to do balloons anymore anyways.


These past few days and next couple have days have been so so busy. Between work, other work, carving out time with my friends and getting all of the pre-class work done for next week I feel like I'm running on air. It's worse than finals week because I'm moving around so much and haven't slept nearly as much as I should be. Last night I got out of work at 11:30pm, knew I had to be up by 6am and gave myself sleep anxiety and ended up getting three hours of sleep. I kept rudely yawning at everyone who tried to talk to me during procession this morning. Last night Dwayne totally came through for me at work. He knows I can't work Tuesdays, Wednesdays, or Thursdays yet I keep getting put on the schedule and he said he would cover for me. I was so grateful to have that little bit of stress lifted, but then it was immediately replaced with my anxiety of leaving work in the lurch especially since people have been leaving and one of our more awesomer staffers was fired. But Dwayne said that it was all cool. I think by Tuesday night I'll be okay. Graduation will be done, the EQ newsletter will have been started, and Tuesday night is the first night of class. I will be able to decompress and get beer. BEER. I will also need a hug so that I still know that my limbs are functionable and then my summer can begin. Yay!


I also need to pick up the new Sarah Dessen novel. I have been so excited for this book for months and then I forgot about it. One of my friends tweeted about buying the book and I got so excited again so now I need to pop into Borders on my way to work and pick it up. Maybe this weekend I'll grab it so that I have something to do on my downtime on Monday and Wednesday. Now I am so jazzed for this book. I need to go book shopping, underwear shopping, and other clothes shopping. I need to get to the outlets, Wednesday maybe. Pray that I make a lot of money tonight and tomorrow.

If you can't handle Lewin, go to West Chester.

I was scrolling through ratemyprofessor.com earlier today to see what people had posted about the history teacher I start class with next week and the above little gem popped up. I very rarely take what people say on those message boards seriously because it's usually pissed off students venting about their final grades, but if there's a general trend in one direction or another I will pay attention to that. Now I really know nothing about West Chester's history and about 1/6th of my family has attended/is currently attending West Chester, but I still think it's funny when people think that Saint Joseph's University has some superior program over another institution and then have to brag about it in obscure places.

I got luck this week. Blogger has been down for the past couple of days and haven't wanted to write except once when I went to see Thor with My Hebrew Friend and then Marg finally acknowledged my love of super hero movies. She thinks its becoming a problem, the real problem is her need to pick up every stray cat off of the street and bring it home. Thor, by the way, was great. Everything I wanted from the a Marvel movie and the added bonus of Kat Dennings. She had a small part, but she really nailed it in her own Kat Denning's Comedic Style (see the episode of her in Sex and the City). Yonni's been quoting lines at every opportune moment that he can make, it's quite amusing. I was hoping for a cameo from Tony Stark at the end, but I was perfectly fine with Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury: Avenger Spy. SLJ is so kick-ass anyways. Before the movie I was a preview for Captain America. Captain America is easily my favorite Avenger after Iron Man, but Chris Evans and his nice Avenger body blow Robert Downey Jr.'s out of the water. So tasty. There is a strong Hulk/Watchmen feel to what I've seen so far from it, so I'm hoping that it's a little bit different. I'm really excited for The Avengers that is coming out in May of next year. It has all of the awesome super heroes working for S.H.E.I.L.D. Jeremy Renner is also supposed to have a significant role as Clint Barton/Hawkeye, a superior marksmen. This makes total sense after seeing Thor. Jeremy Renner's character was tiny, but there were a lot of close ups and lingering shots so I could tell that there was something important about him other than the fact that he is Jeremy Renner.

Now you can write our story so much faster.

I think you're about to be asleep right now. You should be asleep right now because it's late and you've written that you intend to get up early tomorrow to stake out something you won't have to do for another three months. But I saw that california king beds were trending on twitter for some reason and it made me think of you and your problematic bed, which is really quite uncomfortable, and then I remembered that Sleepys is having a mattress sale and now that you are in a position to save a little (even if you don't think you really are, you are) and should buy a new mattress sooner than later. Before you know it you're going to be caught up in school and teaching and that will take a stressful toll on your body and you will regret not having a fine mattress to sleep on. So save up or tell your dad you need money for car repairs.

I watched The Garden of Eden tonight. It was really lovely. Mena Suvari did an excellent job portraying Catherine and her destructiveness. The devil. The Garden of Eden is one of those stories like (500) Days of Summer. It is a love story, but at the same time it really is. In this one you know right away that there isn't going to be a happy ending or a simple one. One of Catherine's first lines is her saying that she is a destructive person who is going to do something really terrible one of these days. There's also a subplot about a young David in Africa with his father during their hunt for an elephant. Young David leads the group on a hunt for elephant ivory, but then comes to regret his actions after he understands the poachers' intent. This ties in as a story that David writes during his honeymoon and the couple's interactions with Marita.

I went to Ikea today to get the part that I needed for my shelves. I can't go to stores like Ikea. There's too many well-priced things that I want to buy. I ended up walking out with not only my shelving part, but also new curtains for my bedroom and a new lampshade for the small lamp on my bureau. I want to go back and get more things that I really don't need for my apartment. I am thinking about getting an area rug for my living room so that might be something for me to think about for later on. I'm hoping I'll just move out of my apartment before it comes to that.