Our sperm counts are higher, even in our women.

I got another writing request. It's kind of like getting a notice from the library about an overdue book. This time it was actual fun and creatively written and you can see it in the comment section in the post before this one. I also updated My Tumblr today too. It had been a good month or two since I was even on the dashboard. I noticed that a lot of people that I follow hadn't updated either and that I now have 25 followers. The last time I checked I only had 6 and of course none of them are my sister whom I do follow and even plugged a link to her blog on my tumblr. Thanks a lot bitch. Of course now you kind of have an idea about our relationship and can see why we may not be actively following each other.

I've been busy lately. Nothing important just a billion menial things that had to get done around the apartment and at works and school. I've been trying to clean out the apartment and do a little redecorating. I bought some gauzy curtains for my bedroom and I'm liking them more and more. They have a very nice light and romantic feel to them. They aren't heavy and awkward looking like the other ones that I had up before. I also put up a shelving unit in my kitchen that I'm also liking more and more. It's a lot of vertical space, maybe more than I need because I'm still trying to fill it all, but it's given me use of my kitchen table again and to celebrate I pulled out my tablecloth that I've been keeping in my closet for the past year. Now that I have less then a year left of living here I may clean it out and start inviting more people over, especially since I've gotten the Wii and the very nice Netflix channel. To date only eight people have been inside my apartment not including my family members. Now that it's summer and the pool is opening soon and I can have guests over I'm going to invite more people over to the apartment. I also want to go out more this summer. I want to go dancing and drinking with Anna and meet boys and makeout all over the place. I miss kissing boys, I haven't done it in ages.

I'm so glad it's summer for more than just the pool. I've been losing weight recently as a part of my challenge to get fitter. It hasn't been a substantial amount just yet, but enough that my cousin Dan said that my waist has become more defined and when I was trying on clothes at J. Crew all of my usual sizes were too big. I felt really good after that. I have a way to go yet, I want to get to the point where the people I see everyday start to notice that I'm smaller in size and look better. I've been going through an ugly duckling phase since my senior year of high school and it's only recently that I've really been willing to push myself to get out of it. I think its the combination of Yonni and Dre working out a lot and the fact that I haven't been on a date in a year. I'm tired of where I am right now and I'm willing to make the changes that I need to do to get out of this rut. I want a boyfriend again and I'm not going to meet anyone by sitting around being a fat lump. Of course this also means new clothes and new makeup and with the income that I have this summer, it's been easier to buy clothing and shoes. I'm almost done with my start of summer purchases. I've bought several pairs of shoes and clothes this past week and all that's left is underwear. Love love love underwear shopping. I just really like lacey things. I also want Yonni to come shipping with me sometime, not necessarily for underwear though I'm sure he as valid thoughts, but for clothes in general. I'm way too comfortable in my ways and I need someone to push me to try new things on. I can't bring a girl because they secretly sabotage each other even if its unknowingly so I have to bring Yonni and get his honest man thoughts.

I also need to get up to Vermont, but not until it's dry and warm up there. I have a July trip tentatively scheduled and My Hebrew Friend has tentatively agreed to drive with me. I need someone to drive through New York. 87 late at night is so boring especially when its 2am and I've been driving by myself for five hours. I can get us to New York and through Vermont, but I need someone to do New York otherwise I will crash and die and there will be no more sushi and mai tais at the Matterhorn for Sidney. That's really what I miss, the Matterhorn and boating on the reservoir. July's is the perfect time for that because everything is finally dried out and it's warm outside to the point where it's almost hot and the garden looks really pretty. The blueberry bushes won't be ready, but that's what a trip in August is for. 

Shopping in the boys department.

I had two things I was thinking about earlier today and one of the I completely forgot about. One was about me and the other one was probably about about me but not so indirectly, but then I forgot about it. So instead I will share my joy that I got to color in class today. My teacher brought in a 64 count box of crayons and I went to town depicting a scene from Heart of Darkness. And now that I am writing this I realized that the other thing was about my new path as short pulp fiction writer. Apparently my classmates really enjoyed the idea with my story, but they were conflicted about whether they thought it should be dark and mysterious or hammy and ridiculous. On guy thought that it had a pulpy vibe to it and so my teacher has tasked me with making it over the top and to push it to the limits of ridiculousness. I may even have to reference Samuel L. Jackson or a ridiculous vampire movie. We shall see. It also means more work for My Hebrew Friend who I've gotten for be my chief source of criticisms and suggestions with this piece. I struggle with fiction more so than with other genres and I need him to make sure things don't get too out of hand.

The other thing that I was thinking about was relationship and how I sort of accidentally fall into them. My friends are all in different stages in their lives and in different places in the world of romance, but none of them seem to have the same process as me. Of course it's all the same for every one: person meets person. For me though I can't seem to just meet a person and instantly be dating them. I start out as friends and over time something changes for me and I start to see them differently and somehow we end up as more than where we started. Right now most of the guys that I am close with are already with other people or I haven't found the others to be right for me in that way yet. It's a particular process for me somehow that I still can't seem to nail down. I'm kind of nervous though because what if I finally end up with someone right before I have to leave. Conundrum. But also a bridge that I'll cross if it gets to that. I'm finally in a good place with Yonni where I feel comfortable alone with him to be myself without the pretensions of sex looming over us, or my need to not say anything wrong around him, or doing something that would make him not like me. It's taken awhile, but now I don't feel bad critiquing him about something or telling him about anything. It's the same with Dan. I wrote a story about us for my non-fiction piece. Andi says that he will be one of those guys I will always "feel something for" but writing that story was like letting go of a lot of stuff that I was holding on to. Growing my hair out was like a liberation from him.

Okay so I never really finished, I just stopped and went to work instead of just saving. The best part of the day after coloring with crayons and the discussion I had with Amy in class about how desirable Marlon Brando is in Streetcar despite how crazy the character and the Dr. Green agreeing with us and then it turning to Marlon Brando weighing 200 pounds more than he was supposed to for Apocalypse Now which was mot excellent, was my trip to sketchy Kohl's down on Township Line. Seriously this store looks so out of the place on the side of the road. It looks like it's in a small field on the edge of a swamp. But that's DelCo for you. Anyways...women have stopped dressing formal in the work place I have found. I couldn't find a white button down anywhere. At least not a white collared one with a breast pocket. And believe me I tried Ross, two Targets, and a TJ Maxx. I had to shop the little boys department to find something that would fit. So so sad. But it's nice to know I not too fat that I have to shop in the men's section.

Also I have a killer sore throat and Arcade Fire's We Used to Wait is my new crack.