"Don't say it, I know you're thinking." "No you don't, I was thinking about pantaloons."

The other day I dug out all of  my Guster music that I had and laid around listening to it and remembering all of those wonderful times in high school that I had with my friends. A long time ago I used to associate music with the events in my life, but I've had to stop because there were too many negative things attached with some of my favorite bands and I love music more than the negative things. Now I have gotten over the bad memories and have started listening to older music again, while remembering the good associations I have with it. Guster always brings me back to hockey and suicide sprints on the ice. When I was a sophomore Guster played a show at Higher Ground and a bunch of girls on the team decided to go. The concert was amazing. I remember my boyfriend at the time and I decided to wipe off the black X's that you get for being underage and then getting caught by the venue staff and being forced to go back and get new ones or get kicked out. I remember being in the front row and fall in love for the first time with a musician, Adam Gardner you'll always be my first. I remember when the band started playing Amsterdam that I almost peed my pants and I remember that all of the hockey girls that went to the concert had to spend half of the practice doing suicide sprints while everyone else took shots on goal.

Listen to Guster also made me remember the year I knew all of the words to all of the Coldplay songs that were out at the time. My friend Johnny Mac was obsessed with the band and spent every waking moment listening to them and when we would hang out at his house all we would do is listen to them. One time Johnny, Austin and I made a video of us playing cowboys and Indians (we were probably sixteen at the time) and we used Coldplay in the background. It was two minutes of us shooting Nerf guns at each other and then bouncing off the bed and out of the shot. It was supposed to be us falling off of a cliff, but each one of us looked like we were dancing at the end you could hear the oofs as we all landed on top of each other. I remember Lizzy and I would sing along to Yellow and Clocks and Green Eyes while we pined for our crushes and Katie had to choose between Johnny and Austin. Coldplay reminds me of old friendships and driving fast on dirt roads in purple jeeps.

Once I got through my Coldplay collection I found old Death Cab songs and Rooney. I miss Rooney, I wish they would put out some more music. Back when myspace was a thing I would put little Death Cab quotes all over my page and when everyone thought that Soul Meets Body was such an amazing and prolific song I was bopping around to The Sound of Settling. One day when I was at a friend's house her brother, who was home from prep school, asked if any of us had ever heard of the band Rooney. Being an avid follower of Robert Schwartzman and most of the other Coppolas I was the only one who had hear of Rooney and we started singing I'm Shakin'. It was really cool to know about something that other people hadn't even heard of because back then (and still today) I was always the last to know about anything.

I've been watching old episodes of The O.C. lately and almost all of the bands that I listened to in high school are featured in the series in some way or another. Hearing such amazing music has been making me nostalgic just the tiniest bit for when I younger and things seemed a lot simpler. Sure I still have some of the same issues and insecurities that I had back then, but I've learned a lot about not sweating the small stuff and that there are more important things in life than not getting invited to so and so's party. Of course I'm still in the infancy stages of my life and I have a long ways to go, but I have cultivated a strong group of friends and acquaintances who keep me on track and help me when I fall off of my high heels. 

And if you feel just like a tourist in the city you were born, then it's time to go and define your destination. There's so many different places to call home.

I had an epic day at the beach today. EPIC DAY! It started off slow because someone forgot to get up this morning. I mean honestly, who forgets the last beach day of the summer? Anyways  once we got on the road and actually got there it was amazing. The sunny was out and there was a strong breeze to keep the heat down. Unfortunately the wind was a little too strong for frisbee, but now that it's school time we can play on the fields. Woo woot. The water was perfect though. After the initial shock of the cold water against my skin I hated to get out. The current was a little too strong for me to be comfortable swimming alone so I had to keep getting out when Yonni did, but eventually I just said fuck it and went in. Apparently the bear's fur is just for aesthetics because he kept getting cold in the water. The trick: just stay below the surface. Afterwards we made a quick stop to the uncle's to return the beach chair that has been living in the back of my car all summer. I get to keep the key though. Coming down we saw White Castle off of 37 and decided to Harold and Kumar it there later. Since Yon is nice and dark I am left to be Harold. Yipee. White Castle is not as good as I remember it being from when I was younger and it's no surprise that Lance hasn't eaten there in thirty years. And to top it off none of the Harold and Kumar movies are instant on Netflix. Despite that small setback and two cups of milky sugary coffee from Dunkin' I had a really nice ride back to the city with Yonni and I'm decently tuckered out that I might get a good night's sleep for a change. I'm sad that there won't be anymore beach days for a while, but I'm glad that I was able to end the summer with a satisfiable bang. Next week classes start.

Sweet potato fries?

After raiding my parent's DVD collection back home I have rediscovered my love of The O.C. What a great show about one of the most pointless places on the planet. Somehow FOX knew that people would be obsessed especially when they're from a small, cold New England town. My entire high school was captivated by this show when it was on the air and since it played on FOX you had no excuse not to watch it. My favorite season was the fourth because there was no Mischa Barton. I know the whole premise of the show revolved around but I couldn't stand Marissa Cooper at all.  I was definitely a Summer girl.  Actually I was a Seth Cohen girl. That character was my dream guy and the peak of Adam Brody perfection. The fourth season was also when Ryan finally got himself a decent and very hot haircut.

I got my first email from the school reminding me to fill out my intent to graduate form and remember to pick up my cap and gown in a few weeks for senior photos. Ugh. This blows, but it also means that the days are finally counting down until when I am done with school and off to see the world somewhere else. I had a mini chat with a friend today about where I would go. I don't think that he is keen about e packing up and leaving because he kept saying that I could stay here and work or go to grad school. Sometimes I think he doesn't know what to do with me. I'm not like a lot of the other people that he can put in a box and know where they're always going to be. I'm more like a caged bunny that rattles around in the box and knocks other stuff down or like a square peg in a round hole. There's not a very good definition out there for me. I need to get out of here for a little while, but for the first time I actually admitted out loud that I wouldn't mind returning to Philadelphia (or the greater area) to go to school or work once I've had an adventure or two. Sometimes I just wish I could pack people up and take them with me. For now though I need to focus on school and remember to fill out my intent to graduate form on time.