If you're a bird, Im a bird.

As much as I write for myself to see my thoughts and ideas on print, I am also writing to an audience and sometimes I am a selfish writer. I've been avoiding writing on here for the past few days. I haven't been read the blogs I follow or following up on blogger emails. I've put this thing I do in a state of suspended animation. It's selfish because I have readers who follow this blog and depend on me to write for them. As much as writing is an escape for me, reading this blog is a distraction from life for them. And so I have to try not to be so selfish.

It's been a very stressful time for me lately. I'm in the process of wrapping up the semester and preparing for the finals I have to take next week. There's something different about the finals in the spring than the ones in the winter. In the winter it's just a race to winter break and Christmas presents, but in the spring it's life or death. Spring finals mean the last chance to end the year on a good note and to try to raise your gpa. For the lucky few it's graduation and the end of school. There's just more pressure and importance with spring finals. This means that I have been up and down. My emotions and self-control are out of control. I've either been extremely high or very low. There has been no middle ground for me. It might be the weather or the PMS but everything is just very sad and terrible or completely wonderful. I have a whole chocolate bunny tonight and cried during every movie I watched, mind you they have all been tragic romances with no happy endings. Just earlier today though I was running through the rain with some friends, excited about the summer showers and the last theology class. I just feel like I'm on a precipice staring down at something terrible and as I complete each final assignment the gap becomes smaller but when I go to sleep and wake up the next day the gap is just as wide as when I started.

I'm so close and tomorrow afternoon I will be finished for the week. I have to breathe deep and keep on going until then. 

I want to dye my hair "Emma Stone Red"

So I was going to write last nigh but when I got on I saw that Yonni had posted and I got all caught up in his writing and then I got distracted by something else and then something else and long story short I now have a very clean kitchen. So anyways...

Yesterday was Easter and I ha to work. I missed out on stuffed olives and I'm bummed because if I had been able to go into work at my usual time I would have been able to get some. But instead I had to go into work at noon and have a very Alice in Wonderland early afternoon. For the first three hours I was at work there was a full floor of staff and only three tables so everyone started to go a little nutty. It started off with little things like the staff just lounging around the kitchen table after all the side work got done and it spread to people hanging out at the bar watching the games and throwing jelly beans at each other across the dining room. The managers also joined us in our lethargy and even helped us with some of our escapades. The best part of the day was when one of the hosts went over to the grocery store and bought a large lawn decoration: a bunny on a stick and attached a sign with the name of the restaurant and went outside to wave it at cars. There's a video of it floating around somewhere, so funny.

Today I went out to Lancaster to see some family. I probably should have stayed to do some homework but I wanted to get out of the city before this coming week and finals start. I just have to make it to Thursday morning and then I'll be fine. Anyways, the drive out to the country is always pretty. The farms are picturesque and all the fruit trees are in bloom right now. I stopped at my grandfather's first and had lunch with him at Silver Springs. We always go there, but I don't mind because they make the best coconut cream pie and that's the only place I will eat coconut cream pie so I always like going there. After lunch we ran some errands and went out to Lititz to the Wilbur factory. Seriously Wilbur make much better chocolate than Hershey. I got a bag of dark and milk Wilbur Buds. I'm going to give a few of the dark ones to Yonni. Yonni eat them and drink a glass of red wine. You'll feel much better. Later in the afternoon we went over to my aunt's house and had dinner with her and Uncle Dave. Uncle Dave likes me because I'm quiet unlike the rest of his family. I also found out Danelle is getting her master's at West Chester. Totally unaware of everyone else. I went home after that. Only took me an hour on the Turnpike. I have to make more trips out there when I get a chance.

On sad note I didn't see any Amish in Amish Country until late in the afternoon when I was in Akron. I did see a super hottie Mennonite on my way home. Totally wanted to pretend to break down so he could help me. I also think I'm started to PMS because I ate half a pound of chocolate in one sitting and bought some new makeup today. No bueno and now I need Dione to teach me how to put it on right.

I wanted to write about something else but I think I'll save it for tomorrow. Instead I'll say that My Hebrew Friend bought the Hank book and he's going to let me read when he's done. So excited and totally love the fact that one of my friend's actually likes most of the same crazy shit as me. Janet I need to find you a Mystery Team birthday card, so perfect!

"It was an accident of timing."

I had a little fun with the below post, but I know someone's going to want me to take it down tomorrow so read it while it's still there.

Tonight was a terrible night at work. I walked out of there with $10 after spending most of my shift as other people's busers and working a 44 top. Total balls.

Good news though my Easter basket came today. I've been waiting for something cheery and it's finally here. I drove for the mini Cadbury chocolate eggs immediately but with the dietary changes I've been making I could only eat two or three before my stomach started to hurt and I had to put the bag down. I've also gotten around to watching The Romantics. Great casting, excellent story. I've just started worrying that I'm either going to be a Lila, getting my wedding ruined or a Laura, ruining the wedding because I can't let go of the groom. Of course the groom won't have to be Josh Duhamel, but he should be as equally fit and versed as his character Tom. And if I get left outside on the lawn after a night of adulterous sex I will murder someone. But that's years away. 

Maybe too many words for a newspaper ad.

Attention Single Lady Readers (You Know Who You Are):

I have a beautiful friend looking for love. He is tall, dark, and handsome (due to his Israeli heritage) and he is also Jewish. He values his family and friends. He is health conscious and physically active and looking for someone who also values physical fitness and long, strong, healthy lifestyles. He does not smoke ciggs or drink excessively, though he does enjoy his hookah occasionally (again he is Israeli). He loves warm weather, boats, being honest. He is a ball of energy (much like a small child) and is well read, well-movied,  and very educated. He is ten seconds away from being an English teacher and spends spare time reading and writing. He loves Hemingway and Rowling. So if you're interested in these things to please find your way to him, he's waiting.

NOTE: Jewish American Princesses and bitchy girls need not apply. 

101

So I realized that last time was my one hundredth post and it was not one hundredth post worthy so hopefully this will be a little bit better.

The dumpy week has turned around. I feel much better and as long as I power through tonight at work I will be able to sleep all day tomorrow if I so choose. I forgot about having Friday off so today is my Friday, but then I realized that almost all of my friends are going home for the holiday and I am not. Of course a couple of them live in the area so they're not far away. I thought about going out tonight after work but I don't even think that I will be able to make it to 9pm. I'm hoping I have an early rush and get cut shortly after because right now I'm thinking that all I want to do is just go home and watch movies. I recently upgraded my Netflix account to get DVDs and my first one comes today. I think it's The Romantics which I'm happy about and I would much rather hang out at home and watch that then wander around Manayunk until all hours (unless I go to the custard drive-thru). I may even stop by The Noodle and pick something up if I remember on my way home tonight.

I had an excellent run yesterday morning. Pete said that our route was longer than it really was, but since we didn't actually run all the way around City Hall it was only a little over two miles, which is still good for me at 5:30am. I have one more official week before Service ends and then I'm not sure if I will be able to go as much in the summer. It all depends what my schedule is going to be like in the office. As persuaded to me by Yonni I've stopped weighing myself everyday. I can't just do it every week I have to do it every other day now. I can't wait a week, it's too much for me. I'm also not running today. I usually save Friday as my recovery day, but I don't have a lot of time today. I got home late last night and crashed until right before it was time for school. I didn't even take off my socks. I love socks, hate wearing them when I sleep.

Last night I had an excellent workshop with Yonni. He's been really great about the critical feedback of my work, telling what works and what doesn't. Last night he went over my one act and my poetry collection. The one act was presented in class to positive reviews yesterday, but I am able to polish it up before it goes in the portfolio. I also had positive feedback from my professor about my poetry collection. Yonni appreciated the Borders collection and helped me tweak it a bit. If I get an A in this class it's because Yonni pushed me and my writing to make it better.So if I get published first I promise to hook you up with your own editor and if you get published first you have to hook me up with own of your awesome vacation homes. Preferably somewhere with a boat and a beach.

The post below this one was terrible.

Don't read it. Click on the link instead: Click Me!

The d key on my keyboard is sticking.

I didn't really want to write anything today. I started this post maybe a dozen times letting myself get distracted by something so that I wouldn't have to write. I don't know I just feel so lackluster about everything that's been happening that I couldn't get a start to writing. And I feel like I'm only doing it now so I don't get another message tomorrow telling me to write something, I shouldn't leave my readers so stranded. Just don't expect a whole lot out of this one.

I went to see the horses this evening. There are more of them again and they look much healthier. The same sweet dog is there. I wish someone would give him a bath because he looks like he's never had one, but he's so sweet and trusting when I see him. Like a young Buck. There's something about the horses that's very calming. I think it's because you have to be calm yourself around the horses for them to be calm. It's been a struggle to stay calm today.

I hate how tone can't be conveyed through a text message. I tried to poke fun at my Hebrew Friend about skipping class but it ended up being an epic fail. BTWs I have some time from noon until my 4pm class tomorrow. I was trying to be funny/ironic when I was talking to you earlier. Another epic texting fail.

I'm watching A Little Princess on Netflix. I love this movie so much. It's such a pretty story and I definitely identified with the little chubby girl when I was younger. Despite the evil Miss Minchin I still really wanted to be sent away to school for the longest time. Didn't happen.